The Story of Wednesday (the dog)

I have a semi love/hate relationship with our four legged so called protector. I feel bad about the way I am always eager to ship her to another house. I feel that I should explain our relationship to you. Here it goes, first some background on me and dogs...

When Isaac and I first moved into our tiny apartment I bought our first family member. He was a pompoo and weighed a whopping 4 pounds. We named him Rosco Picotrain. He needed a big name to compensate for his size. Rosco was my buddy. He slept in bed with me when Isaac was at work. We took him on our vacations. He was our child until Jacob arrived. When we moved into the crackerjack box house we put in a dog door for him. He was a wee bit spoiled. Then in April of 2007 Rosco got hit by a car and it broke my heart. I lost my little buddy.

Time went on and we added Mia to our family and another person to take up space in the crackerjack box. Now Isaac had always talked about wanting a boxer. I just kind of shined him on going "sure honey as soon as we get the money". He would talk to my dad constantly about my dads boxer that he had when he was growing up. My dad did not help my anti big boxer cause. In actuality he added to Isaac wanting one. On the Wednesday before Halloween in 2008 Isaac almost lost his marriage. I came home from work and there she was...our 8 week old boxer. Isaac had a friend that bred his and gave Isaac a pup. That guy was not my friend. Isaac was excited, Jacob was excited, even Mia at 3 months was excited. I was not. We named her Wednesday Addams. Isaac went to work that night and now the fun began. I now had to get up to not only feed a 3 month old baby but, I had to now take Wednesday out to go potty...in the dark. She did not win points with me. Because, in what would become true Wednesday behavior she is afraid of the dark. The next few months we long and hard and consisted of NO sleep for me. Wednesday also discovered more things to be afraid of. Here is a list of some...

1. the dark
2. boxes
3. shadows
4. candles
5. being alone
6. rain
7. heat
8. bees/wasps/flies

Here are things she is not afraid of and should be protecting us from...

1. strangers
2. scorpions
3. mice
4. the mail lady

When people come to our house she gets so excited and wants them to love her. She ends up licking them and jumping all over. So she goes outside. The only time she barks is when she is alone or when there is a box in front of her. She doesn't bark or growl at strangers but OH heaven forbid there is a box on the floor she goes into fight mode. We are protected from boxes but a robber is welcome.

Now that I have complained about what she does that annoys me I should go over her good qualities. She is a great dog for children. My little gymnasts have climbed all over Wednesday. Mia has put her hand in Wednesdays mouth and poked at her teeth. Wednesday's ears have been pulled, she has had barbies ride her, and been turned into a ghost under a blanket. Through all of these torturous activities she has NEVER growled, barked, sniped, or especially bit anyone. She loves the kids and really loves playing with them. Even though she is a third child and requires as much attention (if not more at times) as my human children I do sorta, kinda, maybe in a round about way love her. She is our Wednesday and our family would be missing a piece if we didn't have her. Even if at times I would like to off load her to a farm. :)

This week in kinderland

Every Monday I start off my morning with my class by asking them about their weekend. I am trying to get them to answer in complete sentences. You know utilize those teachable moments...anyways. On a normal day I get pretty much the same type of weekend stories. "I went to the park this weekend." "This weekend I played with my toys." (see the complete sentences) Every so often I get the random story about a cop visit to the house or a relative that has to go to "work" for 6 to 12 months. This week I had two superstars with stories that I went "HUH" at the end.

The first story came from little "X". He has an interesting family life. He supplies me with some very interesting stories. I think at times his house must be like a three ring circus minus the dancing bears and elephants. Although I could be wrong. They could be there and I just didn't listen to that part of his story. So this week he came in to class in a serious mood. I asked if he was OK and he gave me a nod. I figured he was exhausted from a long weekend and having to get up early for school. I began my routine and the second I said "Who Would like to tell the class about their weekend?" Up went little "X" hand. I looked at him and said OK please share. This is his story...

"This weekend I didn't get any sleep. My mom and my "Tia" (aunt) were mad and yelling." At this point I interrupted and thought he was done. Nope there was more.
"My Tia's boobies got bigger and my mom was mad cause she wants hers bigger too. And she got mad at daddy because he likes Tia's bigger boobies. Then daddy had to sleep at grandpas house and then he came home mad. They yelled a lot about Tia's boobies." I then had to stop him because now my whole class is going "boobies boobies". All day long that is all they laughed about was that one word.

After little "X" shared his story I thought wow that is my story of the day. Then little "Z" wanted to talk about his weekend. His weekends are usually calm. He goes to the store with his dad or plays army men. Typical weekend stuff. I wasn't worried especially because I was still in a fog over boobies. So little "Z" began his weekend tale. "This weekend I went to the car store with my dad. He saw lady there and she went to my house. I played outside. Then we took her back to the store. Then dad played army guys with me until mom came home." My response "UUUMMMM OK....let's begin our story. We will share more stories tomorrow." I didn't want to know who the lady was. Where she and his dad were I just wanted the sharing to stop.

I think that at times parents forget that 5 year olds tell all of their secrets. So watch what you say. You child's teacher probably knows more about your personal life then you would like. :)

A SMALL coffee obsession

I have a few food obsessions but coffee is the front runner. I love it! If it were possible I would marry it. Coffee is my feel good drug. It makes me happy and warm and brings back memories of my dad. I think that in the coffee world I am kind of a late bloomer. I didn't really start drinking coffee until I had Mia. She was my anti sleep baby. Really she still is. After I had her just to function I started to drink coffee and now I'm hooked. The night that Mia first slept through the night from 7 to 5. I got up and thought I don't need coffee today I got straight sleep. Oh I was sorely mistaken. I had a headache all day and I'm not kidding I think I had withdrawals. So since then I figure why give it up. It's a lovely habit to have. The smell is intoxicating and when you get that first drink in the morning it makes the fact that I have to go fight two monsters and get them dressed seem like a simple task. Like I said I love coffee. Now my love of coffee does not go to Starbucks. Don't get me wrong I like going there. It's just more enjoyable to have MY coffee. I want my house to smell of coffee.

This weekend I have a dilemma with my coffee. I am going to the mountains and have genuine concern. My concern is not that I'm probably going to be sleeping on a couch. I'm not concerned that my monsters are going to drive everyone bonkers (really they will). I am concerned about my coffee intake. How am I going to get my fix? AM I going to have to get in the car and drive to Starbucks at 6am in my PJ's with my two monsters? That will suck! I always make fun of people that go to the store or pick up their kids in their PJ's. I figure how can you not get dressed? Put on a bra!! Now I'm going to eat my words because that will be me at the Starbucks drive through in my PJ's with my 2 monsters in theirs. Oh the irony. I have to get my coffee fix. The carnage that would be left behind if I don't get it will be colossal...that might be a small exaggeration. Now to go and get my 3rd cup of the morning. :)

Road Rage and the Morning Commute

I drive 30 miles to and from work everyday in traffic. I did this by choice because I didn't want to live in a cracker jack box anymore. My sacrifice for a bigger house was a crappy commute. When I first started this commute I had a little car and only one little person was riding with me. I upgraded the car because I now have two little people riding with me. In the beginning the ride was fine, talking and occasional crankiness from the two small ones. When we upgraded to the bigger better car I had no idea what a blessing it would be. The new car has two DVD players that play separate DVDs and if they want to watch the same DVD there is a button that plays it on both. I love these DVD players! They put a stop to the morning crankiness. Another added bonus of these two magical DVD players is that they are ear muffs to my small ones for my road rage. I have discovered that I am a horrible driver. This can be blamed on a number of things all of which I will yell at you about. I'm blind, I'm blond, I'm a woman, and quite frankly I'm really not a nice driver.

This is what aggravates me when I drive:

1. Don't cut me off without a blinker.
2. Don't ride my ass I will go 30mph slower.
3. Don't swerve in and out of lanes thinking you will get there faster. Half a car length is really not that much of an advantage.
4. Don't drive 50mph in the fast lane on a flowing freeway. This is Cali you will get run over.
5. When in bumper to bumper traffic don't try to be slick and drive past people on the shoulder. I will block you!

That last one is a HUGE pet peeve of mine. I have blocked people and had them yell at me thinking I'm going to ignore them. They are wrong! I am not a fan of confrontation but when protected by a bubble of metal I will confront you. In fact I will roll down my window and scream horrible obscenities at you. Because really what are you going to do to me at that moment. You are obviously in a hurry to get somewhere so you are not going to take time to pull over and have it out with me. Although I drive in California the land of the drive by shootings I doubt the mom in the mini van is packing some heat. The cholo in the low rider maybe. Then again they are just cruising so they are not in a mad dash to get to yoga or Pilate's. So they are behind me not trying to cut me off. I think I've mentioned before that I have anger management issues. This is yet another example of that problem.

I know that maybe you are thinking what the HELL is wrong with me. I have small ones in my car. Trust me they are protected by the all mighty digital ear muffs. They are so preoccupied they have no clue what their crazy mom is doing while driving on the 15 freeway. The gift of technology, it protects against hearing moms road rage.