Sunday, May 29, 2011

End of the School Year


My last day with my class was Friday and I have never been so happy to see a class move on. I normally get a little misty eyed and start to think about teaching them summer school just so that I can work with them a little longer. This did not happen with this years class. I spent this year getting punched, kicked, almost bit, stared down, yelled at, called ridiculous names, sneezed on, used as a tissue, puked on, and bled on. About 90% of these things came from one particular student. Little Z is not going to be missed at all.

We had our end of the year extravaganza which was a huge success and a lot of fun...and stress. I love the chaos of this day for some weird reason. It is 3 hours of not stop adrenaline. I am getting my class ready for their program and their awards. Then at the picnic I am schmoozing the parents. It is NON STOP! I enjoy talking to most of the parents about their kiddo. Even though I am EXTREMELY happy that I am not thier parent. I like to see what their parents are like and what they think of their kiddo. They are usually very proud of their little one and think that they made a lot of progress from the beginning of the year. Which is true with all kinders. Even the lows that are not at grade level have made some progress.

Then there is little Z's mom. I hand out their promotion certificates one at a time. I call them up everyone claps and cheers. I turn them towards their parent and snap snap pictures are taken. I do it this way because I have learned from years past that kindergarten teachers are kind of like Disney Princesses (well in my head I like to think of myself as one for a day). Parents want that picture of the crazy teacher. Well most of them. So when it was time for little Z to come up I turned him toward his mom and she said "I don't want a picture!" I thought oops my bad. I figured maybe she didn't want me in it. Which is fine, her and I have had a "different" correspondence this year. However as the morning goes on I notice my kids have gone home with their parents after the picnic. All except little Z. He is alone. I ask him where his mom is. He says, "She left cause she said she was bored." In my head I'm screaming "WHAT THE EFF IS WRONG WITH THIS WOMAN!!!!" But I filter my words and tell him well maybe she had work to do and will be right back. He knew I was stretching the truth. I take him to the office and call his family only to find out that the BABYSITTER is picking him up. I now see why Z is the way he is. If mom would have returned one of my 9000 calls I made this year I probably would have figured it out sooner.

So as tragic as little z's promotion was honestly I am still SUPER relived to be DONE with this group of kinders. I'm sorta looking forward to a fresh start with a new batch. Sorta...I need this vacation to regroup and get my patience back. I also need my grown up Vegas vacation that is happening in 4 weeks. OH how I NEED this vacation.

Monday, May 23, 2011

A finger painting moment...


A day of painting with my class could have been lovely...if one particular student had stayed HOME. It is the last week of classes and I feel as though I have been a tyrant this whole year. My poor class needs to let loose and be creative and paint. For the love of GOD painting should be in the kindergarten California standards. My class LOVED it! They could have painted all day if I let them. I gave them only the three primary colors and showed them how to make others. They each got a paper plate and a blob of RED, YELLOW, and BLUE. I then had them mix the colors with their fingers to create ORANGE, GREEN, and PURPLE. They were amazed at how the new colors just appeared. It was awesome to see the WOW on their faces and the paint on their hands.

Now back to little Z. He has been a serious cause of my gray hair this year. He fights me on EVERYTHING. Which is fine I like a challenge every once in a while. He also does the complete opposite of what I tell him. So why did I not see this particular event coming...I don't know.

As the kids finished their painting I sent them to the bathroom to wash their hands. I gave them specific instructions on how to get to the bathroom without getting paint everywhere. I told them to use their little butts to push the door open and to NOT TOUCH anything on their way. Everyone except little Z followed directions. He first painted his table, then he pushed the door with his grubby hands. When he came back I said "Did you keep your hands to yourself?" This was his answer "why?" Really why!!! So I look out my door and he touched EVERYTHING! The ground, the walls, the outside of my door, he even touched the roses that were white. I asked him, "Why did you do this?" He said "Why not". I couldn't really think of an answer to that. I mean I know that it's a simple answer but for him you really have to go above and beyond with your answers or he just stares. I think that when he said "why not" I had a small aneurysms.

Only a few more days with him and then he is another teachers headache. Sorry first grade teacher that gets him.

I have never wanted a week to go faster in my life!

Monday, May 16, 2011

Jay Walking Mo Fo's


This is a ridiculous rant I know. However I am up to my eyeballs with stupid jay walkers. I hate driving down a busy street and have some stupid jack ass stroll across the street. The aren't walking or running (which those dumb asses should be doing) they are strolling at a snail pass. In the areas that I drive they are usually between the ages of 11 and 17. I know they think that they look cool or tough walking against the big cars. OH how dare devilish of them. But seriously they look STUPID!!! Not just stupid but fat, lazy, and stupid. When the cross walk or stop light is 10 feet away and you can't be bothered to walk to it. You look like a FAT LAZY MORON! No wonder we have so many freaking chunky kids. (that was a low blow but I'm seriously annoyed).

I hate the fact that in my head I'm thinking how hard would it be to just bump them. Maybe cause a bruise. Just get close enough to roll over a pinkie toe and make them CRY. I shouldn't be thinking that but, I hate them. I have had a 13 year old take off their shoe in the middle of the street and hit my car with it. Because they think I got to close to them. REALLY...If their dumb ass wasn't in the middle of the street I wouldn't have gotten close. The sidewalk is their for a reason use it. I will still think you are a bad ass little 7th grader if you would just use the SIDEWALK.

I know that after reading this I might seem to have anger issues...and I do. But I use the sidewalk and walk my fat ass to the crosswalk so that I can bring you my ridiculous rant on jay walking.

Sunday, May 8, 2011

My visit to a grown up salon courtesy of Isaac :)


I completely acknowledge the fact the I am a horrible person to buy for and surprise. I have a need to control and know everything going on in my house and classroom. My extremely sweet, generous, and romantic husband always wants to make these grand gestures and unfortunately I question it to death and destroy the SURPRISE. He has been able to completely surprise me once. That was when he proposed. One day I will share that story. Today is about his mothers day gift to me.

I have been looking very Rapunzelesque lately. To the point that when I picked up Mia from school one of the little girls in her class told me I look like "Tangled"...(Rapunzel). I came home and told Isaac I need to change this. I always talk about chopping all of my hair off and starting fresh. However Isaac and I have done that in the past and I look horrible with super short hair. Although it could have been the fact that it was Isaac that cut my hair with trauma sheers in out tiny 98 degree apartment. That could have been the reason for the bad hair cut. Anyways it has been a LONG time since my hair was cut by a professional. So for mother's day Isaac arranged for me to go to the Aveda Spa at the mall by us. He asked my friend where she had just gotten her hair cut and that is where she directed him.

The week before mothers day I knew he was trying to plan a surprise. And in typical me fashion I questioned him until he cracked. I know I'm a horrible wife. I got all of the details and at first was really excited to get my hair cut. Then the anxiety kicked in. I normally go to CHEAP salons and get yelled at for coloring my own hair and making it look like straw. Can you see why I don't get my hair cut often. Now I was going to a NICE salon and was trying to talk Isaac out of the gift because I did not want a snotty opinion about my straw hair and what I was doing wrong with it.

On Saturday morning I headed over to the mall for my special mother's day treat. My stomach was turning. But I put on my big girls panties and went in. I sat in the chair and waited to hear all the complaints about my straw. To my surprise the stylist was awesome. She was kissing my ass like no bodies business. I loved every minute of my haircut. She messaged my shoulders and my head. She cut about 4 inches off and then curled it. I felt awesome. I was looking trendy for probably the first time ever with my hair.

When I got home Isaac was vacuuming the living room and he and the kids made me cards. I LOVED my mothers day treats and Isaac was very successful in surprising me. I would have never guessed that he was going to vacuum for me. AWWW true love <3

Sunday, May 1, 2011

My Opinion on Spring


Spring is a wonderful season for weather. It is warming up the birds are chirping, it's lovely. Except when you are a teacher. Spring is almost as bad as fall. In the spring not only is the season changing but so are the children. They now think that they know everything they need to know for that grade. Yes even my sweet kinders have turned into know it all, arrogant. "Why are we doing this AGAIN!!!" pain in my asses. In the fall you break the bad habits they acquired at home and get rid of the baby me attitude. In the winter they are great. Eager to learn and the baby me attitude is pretty much gone. Then comes spring...Oh how I dread it. They now have the confidence to have an attitude the size of China trapped in their now 6 year old body. And let me tell you my class has been taught the art of the cursing insult. I must emphasize this was not a skill they learned from me. Some of them have better insults then I have ever been able to come up with my self. They make me a bit self conscious about my own delivery of insults. The common zinger usually has a variety of four letter words that in my head I'm going why have I never thought to say that.

This attitude is not localized to the kinder level it does spread through out the grades. My class this week has been a revolving door of upper graders that have been "returned" to kinder for their behavior. Kind of a humiliation technique. Not always affective with this crowd. Not only are the upper graders showing their attitude towards school they are now showing that their hormones have kicked in as well. I observe this alot when my book buddies come to read to my kinders. At the beginning of the year the upper graders were attentive to my little guys and thought they were so much fun. Recently they come and the girls are more interested in leaning against my white board looking pretty and twirling their hair then read to my kids. The boys are more interested in laughing at each other and secretly looking at the girls but acting like they aren't. My kids are just trying to get attention anyway they can.

I honestly hate spring. Yes it is getting closer to the end of the year but, I would rather have my sweet naive kinders then my four letter word, "bite me bitch" saying 6 year olds. When I see them rolling their what used to be innocent eyes at me, I want to punish them like I would punish my kids at home if they ever DARED rolled their eyes like that at me. But instead they loose five minutes of recess and I talk to their parents after school about their attitude and choice vocabulary.

At least I can say this...four more weeks of this SHIT!!! I guess they were right everything I every needed to know I learned in kindergarten...even four letter words.