Reason's for my gray hair...

I am in serious need of a venting session. I have good news about my class. I moved 4 of my kids to a K/1 combo. This is good news because i have 4 less students BUT I got rid of good students. The were medium high kids and not behavior problems at all. I still have "those" ones. Speaking of "those" ones let me give you an up date on them.

The Mutes are down from 5 to 3. The remaining 3 still REFUSE to speak. They do their work which is great but again part of kindergarten is SPEAKING. "You say it You learn it". I have parent conferences next week and this need they have to blend in with the walls will be addressed.

Miss Attitude is still going strong. She has about 1/2 good days every 2 weeks. She can not be nice. I am starting to think that it is impossible for her to not piss everybody off. She has also turned into a bold face LIAR. For example I caught her punching another kid in the back. To make it worse it was one of my mutes. I confront her and tell her that I saw her punch him and would like to know why. I thought I asked nice and that it was a reasonable question. Her response is...I didn't punch him! He lied! Tell her he didn't say anything I SAW you do it. Her response...You're wrong I didn't hit him. She argued this for 10 minutes. I even told her that the truth will get her less punishment. NOPE she stuck to that story. This girl is going to be a terror. Can't wait until she's a teen and gets her period. Oh what a joy she will be then. Thank GOD she will be out of my class by then...hopefully.

The Licker has turned into an obnoxious I don't want to do a damn thing bump on a log. He has stopped licking people. He does still lick objects when he thinks no one will see. When it comes to his work he flat out REFUSES to do it. It's not that he can't he has the ability to he just doesn't WANT to. Whenever he is told to do his work he answers with "I can't". That's it "I can't". Really because yesterday you TRACED the letters did you loose that skill overnight? He makes me a little crazy with his answers.

Like I said before parent conferences are next week and all of my little issues with my prized students will be addressed. What I really hope doesn't happen is that the parents think I'm a priest and start confessing all of their sins. This has happened at almost every parent conference. I don't mind hearing what is going on in the house especially if it effects the child in my class. I don't want to hear your having a secret affair or that your oldest child is going to jail for selling drugs. I don't want to hear about your gang or how many times the cops have been to your neighbors house. Unless it is about your child or your child is in danger stop blabbing about. Here's hoping all goes smoothly...fingers crossed.

On to my own little Queen of contradiction...Mia. She is the main source of my gray hair. Everyday it is a fight to get her into clothes...EVERYDAY!!! I have to tell her again and again that she can take them off after school. And trust me she does. The minute we walk through the door past the living room and into the kitchen she is in her panties with a trail of clothes behind her. It takes me 20 minutes to get her dressed and 2 seconds for her to get naked. I don't understand this!! I don't walk around in my underwear, Jacob doesn't walk around in his, hmmm Who could she be copying...hmmmm. Process of elimination says... DAD! Sorry sweety but it's YOU! Another issue with my little gray hair giver is her hair. I ask her, Do you want your hair up or down? She says "Up!" So I put it up. The second I'm done she wants it down and is flipping out over her hair. I put it down to make her happy because I love her and don't want her sad. Plus if she doesn't stop her yelling I might tape her mouth shut. Wouldn't want that to happen ...would we? Like I said she is the QUEEN of contradiction.

Anyways off to watch football. I'm in a fantasy football league and need to see how my players are doing. Maybe I should write about that next time I get a quiet moment. :)

My NEW students and the craziness in my class

The new school year is well under way. I am SUPER busy with work which to be honest is kind of pissing me off. I find myself taking work home with me and working at night and on the weekends when I should be playing. I'm not new to teaching and I REFUSE to go and work in my classroom on the weekends and stay past 3. I'm going to have to find a way to work this out. And in classroom behavior news the HONEYMOON period with my students is over. Personalities are coming out in full force. Let me introduce you to a few, there is Miss Attitude, The Mutes, The Social Butterflies, and last but certainly not least The Licker. That's right I have a licker! Lets begin...

Miss Attitude is a 5 year old little girl that thinks she's 25. She wants to rule the class and is constantly mocking me. She has the eye rolling crap down. In her mission to piss me off daily she has also managed to start piss off her classmates. Her hair is always in pony tails (like that little girl from The Bad Seed) and she flips them around hitting others in the face. She will adjust to the rules of the class but, it's going to take awhile. She is VERY stubborn.

The Mutes are my silent few. I have about 5 students that have said no more then 3 words so far. They try their best to do their work and they are making some progress in the weeks that we have been in school. However if they don't start talking their progress is going to come to a screeching halt. I need them to start making letter sounds and blending and segmenting and you know make friends. They tend to sit and just stare. They don't cry, they just watch everything that goes on. I somehow have to get across to them that kindergarten only works when it's interactive. If they don't start participating they aren't going to be able to keep up. I give them until the end of this month and they will be joining the social butterflies.

The Social Butterflies are my talkers. I can relate to this group because I was a part of it when I was in school. I can relate to their need to talk to their buddies. And talk they do...constantly. They talk about the most random stuff. I find myself listening to their conversations and laughing. This is not a bad group just a noisy group.

And now let me introduce The Licker. He is the cause of some serious headaches. He first licked the table. Then when I told him not to lick the table he licked the table legs and the chair. He can NOT keep his hands to himself. He is always poking or laying on his friends. Yes LAYING on his friends! He sprawls out all over usually one of the Mutes that is looking at me with their big eyes saying "HELP ME!" I have put him on his own planet. His desk is far away from everyone else. He is going to be the one that gives me more gray hair. Every time he is asked a question is ONLY response is "HUH". He dances at the end of the line. Even if I put him in the middle of the line he finds his way to the end of the line. Oh the year he is going to give me!

So these are my kinders so far. And as far as bringing Jacob with me it's still AWESOME. He does talk non stop all afternoon. I'm getting used to that. He also just started soccer. His coach is a dillhole that makes me want to punch him out and take over. So we'll see how the season goes. At least he likes soccer this year, that's plus :)

Until the next time I get a break and a moment to myself.

The first week back!

Well, the first school week is over. To say I've been busy is an understatement. Life in the house is back to being on a schedule...BOO. No more late night movies and sleeping in. However on a the plus side...sorta depends on how you look at it. Jacob started KINDERGARTEN!!! Oh the proud mommy moment I had walking him to class on his first day. I NOW know why those sappy moms cried when I took their children away from them on their first day. Jacob was great though. He met his teacher and he met new friends and wanted not a damn thing to do with me. Except when I see him at recess and lunch and he gives me a little wink and a thumbs up. He's pretty awesome :) I thought that it would be weird having him at the school for 4 hours in another class and then with me in my class for another 4 hours. But, it hasn't been bad at all. He helps me with my prep work and he tells me about his day. It's great to say the least. Alright enough of me gushing about my big boys first day of kindergarten.

On to another aspect of my life, my own class. When I got my first roster it had 29 kids on it. I went "WHAT THE EFF!!" I got my head around it and excepted and prepped all weekend for them. Then within 3 days my roster rose to 33! I said OK I'm no longer teaching I am wrangling sheep and hoping to GOD that they never realize they out number me and plot to take over. I do have to say that I really have few behavior problems. Academics on the other hand are ehhh they'll improve over time. Right now all that matters is that I survived they survived. There was no PEE, PUKE, KICKING, or BITING only a few tears...some might have been mine.

So there you have it the first week is over. Lets see what the rest of this wrangling...I mean teaching of this group brings me.

This summer has been packed with lots of stuff that I can sorta sum up here but I have no clue where to begin. I started off doing a pretty good job of chronicling some of the stuff we did and then we got busy and I got well...LAZY. So here are some of our activities.

We utilized the heck out of our Sea world passes and went to almost every park between Lake Elsinore and Riverside. We had beach trips and family BBQ's. Then there was Mia's birthday Extravaganza. Our birthdays go together so I kind of canceled mine out so I can stay the same age FOREVER. It also makes it OK for me to go completely overboard on her party. This year was no exception. She had a Strawberry Shortcake themed party with a GIGANTIC inflatable slip and slide. It was RAD!! She had a great time and so did I. It makes me so happy to see her come downstairs the day of the party and see the house decorated. Not only that but I have the most amazingly wonderful family and friends and they make her day AWESOME.

We also go to LA every summer. Jacob has an OBSESSION with space lately. We have gone to the Griffith Observatory a couple times this year. It's free and Jacob and Mia have so much fun hearing about the planets. I have to be honest the first few times I was into it as well. Not this time. I like the views but I'm done with the planets. Does that make me a bad mom? More then likely it does. OH well I'll make it up to him :) Anyways we did lots of exploring and went to a couple of restaurants, Philippe's and the Hard Rock in Hollywood. We also got to see the movie stars walk into the premier of "RISE of the PLANET of the APES". That was fun lots of cameras and security. The kids were kind of pissed they didn't get to see real apes. We had fun and it was an adventure.

The summer has one more week left and then we go back to schedules and reality. I hope this post makes sense it is just kind of bubbling out of my head and I know I forgot a bunch of stuff and I didn't elaborate on details but EHHH what are gonna do?

Vegas Baby

Lats Sunday Isaac and I dropped the kiddos off at his parents and headed to Las Vegas. We go every year as our "grown up" vacation. And EVERY year I cry when I drop my kiddos off...EVERY TIME. After about 30 minutes I'm good and the guilt kind of subsides. So we are on our way bumping Pennywise, Face to Face, Bad Religion and other punk rock music. We were pumped up. We got to New York New York and checked in and began to gamble. Gambling is fun if you look at it the right way. We like the social aspect of it. I know that sounds stupid but really that's what we like. We sometimes (by we I mean Isaac) win and we sometimes (I mean me) loose, but we always have a good time doing it because we are laughing with others at the craps table and drinking. After a few hours we went up and got ready because we had tickets to see Mystere.

I put on these pink sparkly 4 inch heels my mom got me for Christmas. They looked so cute with my little black dress. Isaac was dressed all in black I was in black we looked GOOD. Which is rare for us. :) So we are dressed and ready and getting into the car I realized my dress is a bit short. I tried my hardest not to give everyone a show of my ass but it was kind of awkward. Anyways the show was really good. Lots of amazing feats of strength. There was one thing that just creeped me out. They had a guy dressed as a baby. A really fat creepy guy dressed in a diaper. I did not appreciate whatever it is he added to the show. He was GROSS! After the show we went to a bar and had a "night cap"...or few.

The next day my legs were like Jell-O from my cute shoes. But I didn't really care because it was worth it. Those shoes were cute and fun. I sucked it up and we went to Cesar's. They have a Serendipity restaurant in front with the most massive donut I have ever seen. It was huge and saying "Gwenett you must eat me. I'm delicious." I had to do it. I love donuts and there was no way I was going to pass this baby up. It was so GOOD! I thought it would be dry and kind of BLAH. I'm so glad I was wrong. So after our lovely brunch we walked around and gambled and had a couple cocktails and walked some more. For dinner we went to a restaurant called the "Burger Bar". The burgers were fantastic. I had...I don't remember what I had. :( Because Isaac's burger demolished mine. He had a kobe burger with asparagus and a...lobster tail! It was the best burger ever! After our delicious burgers we went to the piano bar in New York New York. We stood outside watching for a while and then went to the guy to get in. He said I could get in for free but Isaac had to pay $10 to stand. UMMMM what? No that was not going to fly with me. We were just standing by the door and to do the same thing 2 feet over was going to cost $10? NOPE that's annoying. We went and played more games and drank an ice cream shake.

The next day we ate at the Mirage and left Vegas for another year.

While we were in Vegas my kiddos jumped from family member to family member. I am extremely greatful to have such a great family. My kids loved seeing all of their grandparents and a couple of their cousins. My poor nephew Isaiah had to share his bed with Mia. She is a beast to sleep with. He said she would make him rub her back ALL night. If he stopped she would grab his hand and put it on her back. She has done this to me so I feel for him. I don't think my kids were very excited we came home they wanted to continue their trip to all of their cousins houses. :)

Until next year Vegas <3

Sleep

When I was younger (many moons ago) I would sleep 10 hours at night. It was great! I would go to sleep when I was tired and wake up when I wanted too. In college I would go 36-48 hours with no sleep and get research done and papers written without any crabby side effects. However once those 36 hours were up, I had a chance to play catch up on my sleep and would sleep for 12-14 hours. That is probably what made staying up for that long not a big deal. I knew that once it was over I would be able to catch up.

When Isaac and I moved in together our sleep habits were very different. He works all night so even on days that he is home he is still up ALL night and sleeps all day. I would stay up with him as much as I could and then sleep in the next day. It was heaven.

Then I got pregnant with Jacob. All of the books I read and the stories people told me warned me about loosing sleep. I kinda went into panic mode. Then I had him and he was NOTHING like I had heard. All he wanted to do was sleep and eat and eat and sleep. Needless to say he was GIGANTIC. But hes was healthy and happy and he slept. This meant that I slept. I thought those books and people had some crazy baby mine liked to sleep.


Then I had Mia...OH MIA! Mia didn't like sleep from day one. She also was not a big fan of eating. All she wanted/wants to do is play. She didn't sleep through the night until she was 2 years old. She wouldn't wake up to eat she would wake up to play and talk. If she was up that meant that I was up. I had no chance to catch up on sleep because she never really slept. I went from getting 10 hours of sleep to about 8 hours of sleep with Jacob to 3 maybe 4 hours of sleep a night with Mia. I missed sleep A LOT.

So now she is almost 3 and POOF! These last few months she has caught on to our family love of sleeping...sorta. Recently she has been sleeping in until 9:00! Oh how I LOVE this. There is a catch to this though. She...well really the whole family is on vacation mode so we do not have a set bed time. We have been going to bed around 10:30/11. But we are getting a good 8/9 hours of sleep a night. I LOVE it!! Sleep is good it makes you happy. It also makes you pretty from what I hear. I need this sleep. I have friends (that don't have kids yet) that sleep 9 hours a night and have these great witty comments and are focused during the day. I think that it's because they got sleep. It is the cure to everything. You're sick...go to sleep. POOF All better! Think about when you are seriously injured doctor's put you in a comma. What is a comma? A lot of flipping sleep. Now that I am getting actual sleep I do not expect to get sick at all. This is just my theory. I feel happier now that I am getting sleep. It's become my Prozac.



:)

Fun Saturday Night

On Friday my mother in law called me and said that Aarron (Isaac's brother) was going to be in San Diego on Saturday with his band. He works with Air Borne Toxic Avengers as a Roadie. He travels ALL over with them. Before them he worked with Andrew W K. Anyways...She said that he could get us tickets for free! SCORE smiles all around!! Then I went into "crap I need a babysitter mode". As it turns out the tickets were for Isaac and I, his brother Joe and our nephew Isaiah. He's 12 and as tall as I am...maybe slightly slightly taller. He is a GREAT kid. So after hearing the invite list I went hmmm that leaves Jill (Joe's wife) at home just down the street...hmmmm DING insta babysitter. Jill is awesome and she likes my kids which is always a bonus.

Saturday arrives and off the 4 of us go. The band was playing at the San Diego House of Blues. We got so lucky and parked right across the street from it. We went to get our tickets at Will Call and they gave us an envelope of stuff...wrist bands and a couple stickers. After we got our stuff we had time to kill and headed to the sushi restaurant that was right around the corner. Much better then House of Blues food...much better. Aarron met us there for a drink. After dinner we went back to HOB to catch the opening act Mona...something. As we were headed in the security guy took away Isaiah's wrist band and said he was to young for ALL access. BUMMER :( We went in and Aarron went to talk to some people and told us he would be back for Isaiah after the Mona band. Joe stayed on the floor with Isaiah and Isaac and I went to the VIP seating area which is right behind the sound board. We had a straight shot of the stage and big bar stools to sit on with a private cocktail waitress. It was nice...until we noticed the girls in the area with us. Oh brother!! They were the Mona bands groupies and bugged me A LOT. I was waiting for one of them to pop out a boob. They were that excited for the Mona band. I was super happy when the band was done and the girls disappeared. Isaiah also disappeared with Aaron. They went backstage where Isaiah got to watch the show. Isaac, Joe and I watched from our nice seats and everyone else stood around for the 2 hour show giving us the stink eye. The place was packed shoulder to shoulder. Expect where we were sitting. We had chairs and no one blocked our view or wiped their sweat on us. The band put on a good show. Aarron got us a great hook up. It was awesome! Can't wait to see what band he works with next! Is it sad that I'm crossing my fingers that he works for the Foo Fighter's or Bad Religion next?

Swim Lessons

I decided that my little kiddos need swim lessons. They both have no fear of water and have both just jumped in for the hell of it on numerous occassions. Jacob has no problem with his little floaties but, I need him to be able to swim without them. With Mia I would like her to be able to swim but, right now I'm just hoping for her to be able to get her butt to the side. That will at least get me time to get my fat butt in the water to get her.

So I registered my kiddos and got my sis in law Shalyn to sign up Gavin so the cousins could learn together. On Monday we went to the indoor swim lesson. They were all put in the frog's class. This is 4 students to 1 teacher. NO PARENTS Yay!!! I did not want to get my ass in that water or even worse in a bathsuit. We introduced the kids to their teacher and then he told us parents to go sit on the other side. We did as we were TOLD. He had the kids lined up and was taking them one at a time to show them strokes. Looked professional to me. He would get them to the wall and then he had the older ones use their hands to scoot to the stair. I thought OK this guy is smart enough to know that when it is Mia's turn he NEEDS to hold her...I was wrong. That MOTHER EFFer let her go and then turned around to get his next student. Mia looked at him and then just let go and sank!! I ran over screaming MIA. Then that dumbass turned around and went opps. REALLY OPPS!! If flames could have shot out of my eye's he would of been dead. I stood at the edge and watched him like a hawk. I thought I would be able to catch up with Shalyn and my brother about what was going on with my littleest nephew but I was afraid that moron would let the kids sink. The rest of the lesson did go well. Howver when we signedd them up for more lessons we put Mia and Gavin in the parents and kids class. Not a favorite option for me but I was not comfortable with the thought of Mia sinking...again.

Their next lesson we scheduled for a day that Isaac would be home so he could go in with Mia and I could watch Jacob with the teacher. Then that stinker hubby of mine got sick and I had to be the one to go in the pool. :( I dreaded it ALL day.

Grant went in with Gavin and I got in with Mia. Jacob went over to his teacher. At least his teacher was not the same guy as Monday. This time he had a girl and she seemed so patient and nice. I wish they had her on Monday instead of that guy. Isaac came and just watched. I hated being in my old lady to big for me bathing suit BUT I had fun swimming with Mia and Grant and Gavin. I look forward to the fact that next week I get to watch and Isaac gets to swim with her. Even sick his ass is going in that water. I am not putting that bathing suit back on. I am OK with going the rest of my life without putting a bathing suit on again. At least the kids had fun.

Hopefully by the end of the month I will be able to write about Jacob being an amazing swimmer and Mia being able to save herself from drowning. Fingers crossed :)

My Awesome day at the Weenie Roast

Yesterday Isaac and I went to the KROQ Weenie Roast. If you don't know what that is let me explain. KROQ is a radio station and this is a big concert they put on in the summer with a bunch of different bands. This years line up sparked my interest because there were a lot of bands that I REALLY like.


This was the line up for the day:




2:00 Young the Giant
2:30 Foster the People
3:00 Lykke Li
3:30 The Airborne Toxic Event
4:00 Neon Trees

These bands were playing on the smaller stage. Isaac and I sat in the grass under a tree and drank beer and listened to Foster the People and people watched. It was wonderful! It made me think people need mirrors and to know their true size in clothes. Also Spandex is NEVER ok to wear...NEVER!

After Foster the People we wondered around all of the booths. They were giving away all kinds of free stuff. We found the most amazing tent. It had about 20 hammocks, misters, and was shaded. Isaac and I swung in our hammock for 20 fantastic minutes. We were very refreshed and went around to see all of the other booths. We came across the interview stage that had Stryker (a DJ from KROQ) interviewing the bands. He was killing time before Face to Face came out by giving away tickets to other concerts. He would ask questions and basically he gave them to who he wanted to give them to. Isaac and I wanted to see the interview with Face to Face so we kinda pushed, shimmed and made our way to the front. As we were standing there Stryker asked one of his trivia questions for tickets to the Warped Tour. For some crazy reason I knew the answer and screamed it out while jumping up and down like a teeny bop. Ten other people answered as well. But they didn't have boobs and jump around like a fool. SO guess who got the tickets...ME. It was great! We walked around some more and then headed over to the main stage.

This was the line up for the main stage:

5:15 Face to Face
5:45 A Day to Remember
6:15 Cage the Elephant
6:50 Bad Religion
7:30 The Strokes
8:10 Rise Against
9:30 Linkin Park

Notice that all sets were 30 minutes except Rise Against...hmmm. I'll get to that in a minute.

Isaac and I get to our seats with our refreshing beverage. :) And screamed and jumped around and sang along to Face to Face. We had our own two person mosh pit going. We kinda freaked the teenage girl in the Strokes shirt next to us out. Oh well she'll be us one day. After Face to Face we realized we should probably eat since our liquid diet was affecting our sanity. Isaac got food while I waited in the mile long line for the bathroom. However while in line the drunk girl in front of me that poured beer down her back asked if I heard the rumor. I said "What rumor?" She said that the Foo Fighters were going to play as a surprise. I said "WHAT??" I love them!!!! After I went to my seat and blabbed the news to Isaac. The guy sitting behind us chimed in that he too had heard the rumor and he pointed out the time difference in the sets. I crossed my fingers and jumped around and sang some more to Bad Religion, The Strokes, and Rise Against. All the while telling Isaac again and again that 1. I LOVE Bad Religion and 2. I really really really want Foo Fighters to play. Low and behold after Rise Against playing for 25 minutes the stage went dark and a familiar tune began. IT WAS THE FOO FIGHTERS!!!! Everyone went BALLISTIC. It was AWESOME! They played for an hour and Dave Grohl is fucking AMAZING (that's right I said fucking he is that amazing) Then came Linkin Park. They are good but in all honesty they were crap compared to the Foo Fighters. They aren't a bad band but their energy was not the same. It's hard to explain you had to be there. :)

After the concert Isaac and I drove thru Carl's to get a burger because we jumped around so much we needed food. I had the best time!!

The TRUE story of the Irish Accent :)

This is a story that my family and friends LOVE to tell about me. I figure the true version should be out there that way when I die peeps will know what a moron I really am.

To begin... A long time ago in a place that marriage and children didn't exist lived a 19 year old girl.

In a time when going to Mexico didn't mean being decapitated it meant partying and under age drinking with Marines.

Anyways here goes my confession...On one particular trip to Mexico I acquired an Irish accent (that really sounded more like a Russian mail order brides). I had gone down with some friends to have a good time. I had a bit to drink and was extremely happy and in a very antagonistic mood. SO when the young Marine came up to me and started talking I answered him in this crazy accent that I just randomly came up with. I figured he would laugh and get the hint that I was not interested. He thought I was serious and followed me around ALL night like a puppy. Asking all kinds of questions about Ireland. I just started answer him with whatever crap I had in my head that I knew about Ireland. Which turned out to be quite a lot of information. Who would have thought I would know so much about Ireland? Then he followed me home. To my PARENTS. (He really was a nice guy I'm just EVIL) I was still using the stupid accent. Even when I introduced him to my parents...sober. He only questioned me once about why they didn't have an accent and I did. I said why do you think they don't have an accent? He said, "Is she your aunt because you don't really look a like?" I just said "SURE". BIG BIG LIES!!! This guy went on to meet my friends. And this charade went on for I'm almost embarrassed to say...a MONTH. I had to make him stop calling and coming to visit so I told him that I was going back to my native land...IRELAND.

Funny thing happened in October...
I was back in Mexico celebrating Halloween and who do I run into...the Marine. He was SUPER excited to see me and then asked why I was there. I responded with "UMMMMMM UMMMMM UMMMM" I couldn't remember how to make that accent and again I had a bit to drink. SO I walked away. I am positive his friends told him that I was a moron and playing a not nice game on him. I never heard from him again.

As you can see I am not a very nice or smart person. However I do know how to have fun. And my family and friends have a good time telling this story of the poor Marine that I tricked.

Just thought I would share this story. It really was funny...maybe only to me and my sick sense of humor. :)

End of the School Year

My last day with my class was Friday and I have never been so happy to see a class move on. I normally get a little misty eyed and start to think about teaching them summer school just so that I can work with them a little longer. This did not happen with this years class. I spent this year getting punched, kicked, almost bit, stared down, yelled at, called ridiculous names, sneezed on, used as a tissue, puked on, and bled on. About 90% of these things came from one particular student. Little Z is not going to be missed at all.

We had our end of the year extravaganza which was a huge success and a lot of fun...and stress. I love the chaos of this day for some weird reason. It is 3 hours of not stop adrenaline. I am getting my class ready for their program and their awards. Then at the picnic I am schmoozing the parents. It is NON STOP! I enjoy talking to most of the parents about their kiddo. Even though I am EXTREMELY happy that I am not thier parent. I like to see what their parents are like and what they think of their kiddo. They are usually very proud of their little one and think that they made a lot of progress from the beginning of the year. Which is true with all kinders. Even the lows that are not at grade level have made some progress.

Then there is little Z's mom. I hand out their promotion certificates one at a time. I call them up everyone claps and cheers. I turn them towards their parent and snap snap pictures are taken. I do it this way because I have learned from years past that kindergarten teachers are kind of like Disney Princesses (well in my head I like to think of myself as one for a day). Parents want that picture of the crazy teacher. Well most of them. So when it was time for little Z to come up I turned him toward his mom and she said "I don't want a picture!" I thought oops my bad. I figured maybe she didn't want me in it. Which is fine, her and I have had a "different" correspondence this year. However as the morning goes on I notice my kids have gone home with their parents after the picnic. All except little Z. He is alone. I ask him where his mom is. He says, "She left cause she said she was bored." In my head I'm screaming "WHAT THE EFF IS WRONG WITH THIS WOMAN!!!!" But I filter my words and tell him well maybe she had work to do and will be right back. He knew I was stretching the truth. I take him to the office and call his family only to find out that the BABYSITTER is picking him up. I now see why Z is the way he is. If mom would have returned one of my 9000 calls I made this year I probably would have figured it out sooner.

So as tragic as little z's promotion was honestly I am still SUPER relived to be DONE with this group of kinders. I'm sorta looking forward to a fresh start with a new batch. Sorta...I need this vacation to regroup and get my patience back. I also need my grown up Vegas vacation that is happening in 4 weeks. OH how I NEED this vacation.

A finger painting moment...

A day of painting with my class could have been lovely...if one particular student had stayed HOME. It is the last week of classes and I feel as though I have been a tyrant this whole year. My poor class needs to let loose and be creative and paint. For the love of GOD painting should be in the kindergarten California standards. My class LOVED it! They could have painted all day if I let them. I gave them only the three primary colors and showed them how to make others. They each got a paper plate and a blob of RED, YELLOW, and BLUE. I then had them mix the colors with their fingers to create ORANGE, GREEN, and PURPLE. They were amazed at how the new colors just appeared. It was awesome to see the WOW on their faces and the paint on their hands.

Now back to little Z. He has been a serious cause of my gray hair this year. He fights me on EVERYTHING. Which is fine I like a challenge every once in a while. He also does the complete opposite of what I tell him. So why did I not see this particular event coming...I don't know.

As the kids finished their painting I sent them to the bathroom to wash their hands. I gave them specific instructions on how to get to the bathroom without getting paint everywhere. I told them to use their little butts to push the door open and to NOT TOUCH anything on their way. Everyone except little Z followed directions. He first painted his table, then he pushed the door with his grubby hands. When he came back I said "Did you keep your hands to yourself?" This was his answer "why?" Really why!!! So I look out my door and he touched EVERYTHING! The ground, the walls, the outside of my door, he even touched the roses that were white. I asked him, "Why did you do this?" He said "Why not". I couldn't really think of an answer to that. I mean I know that it's a simple answer but for him you really have to go above and beyond with your answers or he just stares. I think that when he said "why not" I had a small aneurysms.

Only a few more days with him and then he is another teachers headache. Sorry first grade teacher that gets him.

I have never wanted a week to go faster in my life!

Jay Walking Mo Fo's

This is a ridiculous rant I know. However I am up to my eyeballs with stupid jay walkers. I hate driving down a busy street and have some stupid jack ass stroll across the street. The aren't walking or running (which those dumb asses should be doing) they are strolling at a snail pass. In the areas that I drive they are usually between the ages of 11 and 17. I know they think that they look cool or tough walking against the big cars. OH how dare devilish of them. But seriously they look STUPID!!! Not just stupid but fat, lazy, and stupid. When the cross walk or stop light is 10 feet away and you can't be bothered to walk to it. You look like a FAT LAZY MORON! No wonder we have so many freaking chunky kids. (that was a low blow but I'm seriously annoyed).

I hate the fact that in my head I'm thinking how hard would it be to just bump them. Maybe cause a bruise. Just get close enough to roll over a pinkie toe and make them CRY. I shouldn't be thinking that but, I hate them. I have had a 13 year old take off their shoe in the middle of the street and hit my car with it. Because they think I got to close to them. REALLY...If their dumb ass wasn't in the middle of the street I wouldn't have gotten close. The sidewalk is their for a reason use it. I will still think you are a bad ass little 7th grader if you would just use the SIDEWALK.

I know that after reading this I might seem to have anger issues...and I do. But I use the sidewalk and walk my fat ass to the crosswalk so that I can bring you my ridiculous rant on jay walking.

My visit to a grown up salon courtesy of Isaac :)

I completely acknowledge the fact the I am a horrible person to buy for and surprise. I have a need to control and know everything going on in my house and classroom. My extremely sweet, generous, and romantic husband always wants to make these grand gestures and unfortunately I question it to death and destroy the SURPRISE. He has been able to completely surprise me once. That was when he proposed. One day I will share that story. Today is about his mothers day gift to me.

I have been looking very Rapunzelesque lately. To the point that when I picked up Mia from school one of the little girls in her class told me I look like "Tangled"...(Rapunzel). I came home and told Isaac I need to change this. I always talk about chopping all of my hair off and starting fresh. However Isaac and I have done that in the past and I look horrible with super short hair. Although it could have been the fact that it was Isaac that cut my hair with trauma sheers in out tiny 98 degree apartment. That could have been the reason for the bad hair cut. Anyways it has been a LONG time since my hair was cut by a professional. So for mother's day Isaac arranged for me to go to the Aveda Spa at the mall by us. He asked my friend where she had just gotten her hair cut and that is where she directed him.

The week before mothers day I knew he was trying to plan a surprise. And in typical me fashion I questioned him until he cracked. I know I'm a horrible wife. I got all of the details and at first was really excited to get my hair cut. Then the anxiety kicked in. I normally go to CHEAP salons and get yelled at for coloring my own hair and making it look like straw. Can you see why I don't get my hair cut often. Now I was going to a NICE salon and was trying to talk Isaac out of the gift because I did not want a snotty opinion about my straw hair and what I was doing wrong with it.

On Saturday morning I headed over to the mall for my special mother's day treat. My stomach was turning. But I put on my big girls panties and went in. I sat in the chair and waited to hear all the complaints about my straw. To my surprise the stylist was awesome. She was kissing my ass like no bodies business. I loved every minute of my haircut. She messaged my shoulders and my head. She cut about 4 inches off and then curled it. I felt awesome. I was looking trendy for probably the first time ever with my hair.

When I got home Isaac was vacuuming the living room and he and the kids made me cards. I LOVED my mothers day treats and Isaac was very successful in surprising me. I would have never guessed that he was going to vacuum for me. AWWW true love <3

My Opinion on Spring

Spring is a wonderful season for weather. It is warming up the birds are chirping, it's lovely. Except when you are a teacher. Spring is almost as bad as fall. In the spring not only is the season changing but so are the children. They now think that they know everything they need to know for that grade. Yes even my sweet kinders have turned into know it all, arrogant. "Why are we doing this AGAIN!!!" pain in my asses. In the fall you break the bad habits they acquired at home and get rid of the baby me attitude. In the winter they are great. Eager to learn and the baby me attitude is pretty much gone. Then comes spring...Oh how I dread it. They now have the confidence to have an attitude the size of China trapped in their now 6 year old body. And let me tell you my class has been taught the art of the cursing insult. I must emphasize this was not a skill they learned from me. Some of them have better insults then I have ever been able to come up with my self. They make me a bit self conscious about my own delivery of insults. The common zinger usually has a variety of four letter words that in my head I'm going why have I never thought to say that.

This attitude is not localized to the kinder level it does spread through out the grades. My class this week has been a revolving door of upper graders that have been "returned" to kinder for their behavior. Kind of a humiliation technique. Not always affective with this crowd. Not only are the upper graders showing their attitude towards school they are now showing that their hormones have kicked in as well. I observe this alot when my book buddies come to read to my kinders. At the beginning of the year the upper graders were attentive to my little guys and thought they were so much fun. Recently they come and the girls are more interested in leaning against my white board looking pretty and twirling their hair then read to my kids. The boys are more interested in laughing at each other and secretly looking at the girls but acting like they aren't. My kids are just trying to get attention anyway they can.

I honestly hate spring. Yes it is getting closer to the end of the year but, I would rather have my sweet naive kinders then my four letter word, "bite me bitch" saying 6 year olds. When I see them rolling their what used to be innocent eyes at me, I want to punish them like I would punish my kids at home if they ever DARED rolled their eyes like that at me. But instead they loose five minutes of recess and I talk to their parents after school about their attitude and choice vocabulary.

At least I can say this...four more weeks of this SHIT!!! I guess they were right everything I every needed to know I learned in kindergarten...even four letter words.

Lettuce

I'm really not a picky eater. Well maybe I just like to pretend that I'm not a picky eater. There are not many foods that I won't eat or don't like. Although I do have a small list this post is dedicated to a food that really has no purpose. That is lettuce. It is gross! I do eat it in salads because I really only eat salads for the dressing. Lettuce is crunchy water. On a hot sandwich it's soggy, slimy, boogers...YUCK. A huge pet peeve of mine is when I order a hot sandwich and specifically say "NO LETTUCE PLEASE" and then I get a sandwich with lettuce. It is not that hard to not put it on my sandwich. It's one less step. In all actuality I'm doing that person a favor. All they have to do is keep the slimy useless lettuce the hell away from me.

As far as nutritional contain I'm pretty sure there are none or the ones that it does have are not important. At least with cabbage you get flavor a little spice to it. And you don't put cabbage squished between a hot piece of meat and a bun. However I guess now thinking about it I don't particularly like cabbage. I like it on fish tacos and that's pretty much it. You would think being an Irish girl I'd like it with corned beef. Nope it's a cousin of lettuce and has very little purpose to it's life.

Anyways there is my take on lettuce. :)

Random Facts About Yours Truely

I thought I would compile a list of random facts about myself to either bore you or creep you out about me. Here it goes...

1. I was born in Fort Wayne, Indiana.
2. I LOVE donuts and peanut butter.
3. Daisies are my favorite flower.
4. Yellow is my favorite color.
5. I'm a horrible person to shop for because I never really want anything.
6. I sleep with a blanket that I have had since I was little.
7. I had 2 surgeries before I was 6. 1)appendix 2)eyes, I had a lazy eye.
8. I can name pretty much any actor in a movie. A crazy talent that freaks out most.
9. I love impressionist, especially Van Gogh and Monet.
10. I always sleep in socks because I hate having cold feet.
11. I never leave the house without mascara on.
12. I rarely ever cry. I hate doing it.
13. I don't like to shop for clothes.
14. I'm scared to DEATH of the dentist.
15. I love Las Vegas!
16. I don't like doing yard work.
17. I can't sing.
18. I love to dance and I am not shy about doing it.
19. I hate it when Isaac has a scruffy face because it hurts to kiss him.
20. I'm not a natural blond...surprise surprise
21. I like looking at pictures but hate taking them.
22. I want to go to Ireland.
23. I'm proud of my husband.
24. I have great intentions but a horrible follow through.
25. I love my kids more then anything in the world and would give up of everything for them.

SO this is me <3

Riding the Bus with Kinders

On Friday I took my kindergartners on a field trip to see a barn exhibit. Now before I begin I think that you should think about when you are going on a trip with your children. You're riding in the car. You walk them around where ever it is you are going. Now think about every little inconvenience and uncomfortable situation and multiply it by 200 and you will get a typical kindergarten field trip.

Now lets begin our trip. It was supposed to rain on Friday and parents were panicking about their children melting. I fielded phone calls all week reassuring parents that from what the place had told me we would be in an enclosed place. I thought if this is all that I have to handle this wont be that bad...Why am I ALWAYS wrong in these situations??

Friday arrives and the kids are excited, the parent chaperons are excited, hell I'm even excited. I get my kids in my classroom and get all of our little things taken care of, attendance, name tags, lunches, all of the little things. As I am giving the parents their information I also tell the kids to go to the bathroom. I let one table go at a time. I get to the last table and one little girl says that she doesn't have to go. I tell her that's alright just try. She flat out refuses. I'm not her mom I'm not going to push the issue. We finish up parents have their groups I have mine and we walk out to meet the buses at the scheduled time. And there are no buses. I figure they are running a little late. Try 30 minutes late!At least they showed up. We all get on the buses and just before we take off on our hour long drive it happens. The little girl that didn't have to go potty NOW has to go potty and is dancing. Her peepee dance is contagious and 7 others now have to go as well. I tell the bus driver and run them to the potty. FINALLY we are on our way. About 15 minutes in the "Are we there yets?" begin. Then the "I wanna go home" starts. Thankfully I did not hear "I don't feel good!"

We arrive at the Barn in one piece and with NO accidents. I check us in and tell parents times to meet up for lunch and our departure time and send them on their way with their group. I grab my group and head out. As I'm walking around looking at the cows and chickens and other farm animals I notice that crazy lady that I talked to on the phone is a big liar. There were no coverings and dirt on the floor! If it had rained I would have been SCREWED!!! The kids would of melted. But it wasn't raining at that moment. I was so happy. I took my group around the exhibit and had a good time exploring. It was about lunch time and it starts to rain. Not just rain POUR. I get my group to a covered area and go to talk to the bus driver about us eating on the bus to avoid getting wet. That would of been a good idea if our bus driver didn't go joy riding with another bus driver friend and leave our bus LOCKED with the lunches inside! I was PISSED! Luckily I met the nicest guy. He is probably a bank robber but really nice. He got the bus compartment open that had our lunches in it. Don't ask how. So now I have the lunches and a bunch of hungry kinders in the pouring rain with pretty much no covering. One of my wonderful parents found a covered area while I was commandeering our lunches. AHHH a chance to sit and eat...nope. They all had to go potty. I had one dad go with me and sent all of my boys with him to the bathroom. When he came back he suggested that the next field trip I get more dad's to come. Apparently boys don't just go potty it's social time at the urinal.

While we were eating the rain stopped and we continued with our exploring. Now came the "Can I have that?" "I want that!!" and my favorite "MY mom said I could have it." really when did that happen. UGH!!! Finally it was time to leave. My class is all on the bus counted seated and about to pass out. The class that was with mine lost a group. SO we had to send out a search party and wait 30 minutes for the group to come back. We are NOW on our way...all of us. And we are in traffic and I'm sitting next to a parent that talks more then I want them to at this moment. But we made it back alive, exhausted, hungry, and again all having to go potty. And we were late so we came back to not happy parents but angry ready to beat me to a pulp parents. I was greeted with "Why were you late?" "Do you know I had plans?" "What were you thinking keeping my child this long?" Seriously parents I had no control over the traffic or the wayward group. So the happy parents that waved goodbye in the morning and blew kisses to the bus are going to hang the teacher for making the bus late. Because she wants to keep 28 kindergartners to herself. Oh the joys of my job. In the end this is just a typical aspect of my job. And just for the record I had fun on the field trip...minus the 20 trips to the bathroom.

Movie star LOVES

I have a confession to make regarding secret love affairs I would have if I could. There is an episode of "Friends" where they make a list of famous people they would sleep with if they could. Isaac and I have always joked about our lists. Although mine has changed a few times his is pretty much the same. He would sleep with Mariah Carey (even fat and pregnant with twins) in a heart beat and Rebecca Roman (I spelled that wrong). His taste is simple. My list has evolved over the years. My teen years I was obsessed with Dylan Mckay and sadly Jay Leno. Two extreme polar opposites. My love of Mr. Mckay went away once I hit college but the Leno love stayed. He made me laugh and really that's a big one for me. I once went with my now sister in law Shalyn to see Jay Leno's show taped. His guest were N'sync and Sally Field. Everyone was screaming for the boy band and batting their eye's at them. I was trying to get Jay Leno's attention. As time went on Leno started to aggravate me, especially with the whole Conan battle. I wish he had dealt with it better. Anyways my love faded for him. From then on I had crushes on a number of famous people. Here are some...

1. Chris O'Donnell (HELLO Irish boy would fit in with the family)
2. Jake Ryan (from 16 candles)
3. Jimmy Fallon
4. David Duchovny
5. Emile Hirsh
6. Shia LeBouf
7. Jason Taylor
8. Phillip Rivers
9. Johnny Depp

I know it's a very Wonder bread list I am having memory issues. But it also brings me to my present crush...Vince Vaughn. I know he is juvenile but he cracks me up. He delivers his lines with that dead pan mono tone that brings a smile to my face. I love watching him in interviews. One of my favorite scenes in a movie is in a stupid movie called "Couples Retreat". The movie is OK but there is one scene where Vince Vaughn's character is talking to Jon Favreau's character. He is telling him about being married and the simple line "Who ya gonna go to Applebees with?" makes me laugh and want Vince Vaughn. I think he's funny and that's all that matters...right? However much I LOVE my hubby if I had a shot at Vince Vaughns boxers I'd take it. Then I would come right back to Isaac because he's who I'd want to go to Applebees with. :)

The Story of Wednesday (the dog)

I have a semi love/hate relationship with our four legged so called protector. I feel bad about the way I am always eager to ship her to another house. I feel that I should explain our relationship to you. Here it goes, first some background on me and dogs...

When Isaac and I first moved into our tiny apartment I bought our first family member. He was a pompoo and weighed a whopping 4 pounds. We named him Rosco Picotrain. He needed a big name to compensate for his size. Rosco was my buddy. He slept in bed with me when Isaac was at work. We took him on our vacations. He was our child until Jacob arrived. When we moved into the crackerjack box house we put in a dog door for him. He was a wee bit spoiled. Then in April of 2007 Rosco got hit by a car and it broke my heart. I lost my little buddy.

Time went on and we added Mia to our family and another person to take up space in the crackerjack box. Now Isaac had always talked about wanting a boxer. I just kind of shined him on going "sure honey as soon as we get the money". He would talk to my dad constantly about my dads boxer that he had when he was growing up. My dad did not help my anti big boxer cause. In actuality he added to Isaac wanting one. On the Wednesday before Halloween in 2008 Isaac almost lost his marriage. I came home from work and there she was...our 8 week old boxer. Isaac had a friend that bred his and gave Isaac a pup. That guy was not my friend. Isaac was excited, Jacob was excited, even Mia at 3 months was excited. I was not. We named her Wednesday Addams. Isaac went to work that night and now the fun began. I now had to get up to not only feed a 3 month old baby but, I had to now take Wednesday out to go potty...in the dark. She did not win points with me. Because, in what would become true Wednesday behavior she is afraid of the dark. The next few months we long and hard and consisted of NO sleep for me. Wednesday also discovered more things to be afraid of. Here is a list of some...

1. the dark
2. boxes
3. shadows
4. candles
5. being alone
6. rain
7. heat
8. bees/wasps/flies

Here are things she is not afraid of and should be protecting us from...

1. strangers
2. scorpions
3. mice
4. the mail lady

When people come to our house she gets so excited and wants them to love her. She ends up licking them and jumping all over. So she goes outside. The only time she barks is when she is alone or when there is a box in front of her. She doesn't bark or growl at strangers but OH heaven forbid there is a box on the floor she goes into fight mode. We are protected from boxes but a robber is welcome.

Now that I have complained about what she does that annoys me I should go over her good qualities. She is a great dog for children. My little gymnasts have climbed all over Wednesday. Mia has put her hand in Wednesdays mouth and poked at her teeth. Wednesday's ears have been pulled, she has had barbies ride her, and been turned into a ghost under a blanket. Through all of these torturous activities she has NEVER growled, barked, sniped, or especially bit anyone. She loves the kids and really loves playing with them. Even though she is a third child and requires as much attention (if not more at times) as my human children I do sorta, kinda, maybe in a round about way love her. She is our Wednesday and our family would be missing a piece if we didn't have her. Even if at times I would like to off load her to a farm. :)

This week in kinderland

Every Monday I start off my morning with my class by asking them about their weekend. I am trying to get them to answer in complete sentences. You know utilize those teachable moments...anyways. On a normal day I get pretty much the same type of weekend stories. "I went to the park this weekend." "This weekend I played with my toys." (see the complete sentences) Every so often I get the random story about a cop visit to the house or a relative that has to go to "work" for 6 to 12 months. This week I had two superstars with stories that I went "HUH" at the end.

The first story came from little "X". He has an interesting family life. He supplies me with some very interesting stories. I think at times his house must be like a three ring circus minus the dancing bears and elephants. Although I could be wrong. They could be there and I just didn't listen to that part of his story. So this week he came in to class in a serious mood. I asked if he was OK and he gave me a nod. I figured he was exhausted from a long weekend and having to get up early for school. I began my routine and the second I said "Who Would like to tell the class about their weekend?" Up went little "X" hand. I looked at him and said OK please share. This is his story...

"This weekend I didn't get any sleep. My mom and my "Tia" (aunt) were mad and yelling." At this point I interrupted and thought he was done. Nope there was more.
"My Tia's boobies got bigger and my mom was mad cause she wants hers bigger too. And she got mad at daddy because he likes Tia's bigger boobies. Then daddy had to sleep at grandpas house and then he came home mad. They yelled a lot about Tia's boobies." I then had to stop him because now my whole class is going "boobies boobies". All day long that is all they laughed about was that one word.

After little "X" shared his story I thought wow that is my story of the day. Then little "Z" wanted to talk about his weekend. His weekends are usually calm. He goes to the store with his dad or plays army men. Typical weekend stuff. I wasn't worried especially because I was still in a fog over boobies. So little "Z" began his weekend tale. "This weekend I went to the car store with my dad. He saw lady there and she went to my house. I played outside. Then we took her back to the store. Then dad played army guys with me until mom came home." My response "UUUMMMM OK....let's begin our story. We will share more stories tomorrow." I didn't want to know who the lady was. Where she and his dad were I just wanted the sharing to stop.

I think that at times parents forget that 5 year olds tell all of their secrets. So watch what you say. You child's teacher probably knows more about your personal life then you would like. :)

A SMALL coffee obsession

I have a few food obsessions but coffee is the front runner. I love it! If it were possible I would marry it. Coffee is my feel good drug. It makes me happy and warm and brings back memories of my dad. I think that in the coffee world I am kind of a late bloomer. I didn't really start drinking coffee until I had Mia. She was my anti sleep baby. Really she still is. After I had her just to function I started to drink coffee and now I'm hooked. The night that Mia first slept through the night from 7 to 5. I got up and thought I don't need coffee today I got straight sleep. Oh I was sorely mistaken. I had a headache all day and I'm not kidding I think I had withdrawals. So since then I figure why give it up. It's a lovely habit to have. The smell is intoxicating and when you get that first drink in the morning it makes the fact that I have to go fight two monsters and get them dressed seem like a simple task. Like I said I love coffee. Now my love of coffee does not go to Starbucks. Don't get me wrong I like going there. It's just more enjoyable to have MY coffee. I want my house to smell of coffee.

This weekend I have a dilemma with my coffee. I am going to the mountains and have genuine concern. My concern is not that I'm probably going to be sleeping on a couch. I'm not concerned that my monsters are going to drive everyone bonkers (really they will). I am concerned about my coffee intake. How am I going to get my fix? AM I going to have to get in the car and drive to Starbucks at 6am in my PJ's with my two monsters? That will suck! I always make fun of people that go to the store or pick up their kids in their PJ's. I figure how can you not get dressed? Put on a bra!! Now I'm going to eat my words because that will be me at the Starbucks drive through in my PJ's with my 2 monsters in theirs. Oh the irony. I have to get my coffee fix. The carnage that would be left behind if I don't get it will be colossal...that might be a small exaggeration. Now to go and get my 3rd cup of the morning. :)

Road Rage and the Morning Commute

I drive 30 miles to and from work everyday in traffic. I did this by choice because I didn't want to live in a cracker jack box anymore. My sacrifice for a bigger house was a crappy commute. When I first started this commute I had a little car and only one little person was riding with me. I upgraded the car because I now have two little people riding with me. In the beginning the ride was fine, talking and occasional crankiness from the two small ones. When we upgraded to the bigger better car I had no idea what a blessing it would be. The new car has two DVD players that play separate DVDs and if they want to watch the same DVD there is a button that plays it on both. I love these DVD players! They put a stop to the morning crankiness. Another added bonus of these two magical DVD players is that they are ear muffs to my small ones for my road rage. I have discovered that I am a horrible driver. This can be blamed on a number of things all of which I will yell at you about. I'm blind, I'm blond, I'm a woman, and quite frankly I'm really not a nice driver.

This is what aggravates me when I drive:

1. Don't cut me off without a blinker.
2. Don't ride my ass I will go 30mph slower.
3. Don't swerve in and out of lanes thinking you will get there faster. Half a car length is really not that much of an advantage.
4. Don't drive 50mph in the fast lane on a flowing freeway. This is Cali you will get run over.
5. When in bumper to bumper traffic don't try to be slick and drive past people on the shoulder. I will block you!

That last one is a HUGE pet peeve of mine. I have blocked people and had them yell at me thinking I'm going to ignore them. They are wrong! I am not a fan of confrontation but when protected by a bubble of metal I will confront you. In fact I will roll down my window and scream horrible obscenities at you. Because really what are you going to do to me at that moment. You are obviously in a hurry to get somewhere so you are not going to take time to pull over and have it out with me. Although I drive in California the land of the drive by shootings I doubt the mom in the mini van is packing some heat. The cholo in the low rider maybe. Then again they are just cruising so they are not in a mad dash to get to yoga or Pilate's. So they are behind me not trying to cut me off. I think I've mentioned before that I have anger management issues. This is yet another example of that problem.

I know that maybe you are thinking what the HELL is wrong with me. I have small ones in my car. Trust me they are protected by the all mighty digital ear muffs. They are so preoccupied they have no clue what their crazy mom is doing while driving on the 15 freeway. The gift of technology, it protects against hearing moms road rage.

The NEW Kindergarten

This week has been the start of second trimester kinder assessments. So while complaining about what a pain in the ASS these assessments are to others I heard a lot of..."when I was in kindergarten I..." or "when I taught kindergarten I...". SO I decided that I would like to complain to the whole cyber universe about what it is like to teach kindergarten today. Before I begin I have to preface this with...I love teaching. I would NEVER EVER want to do anything else. I love kindergarten. It is by far the most rewarding grade to teach. Now after saying that here comes what I have to go through.

First of all when I started teaching about 8 years ago I started in 1st grade. I taught them how to write and read and how to sit in a chair. I was in 1st grade for 3 years. Then I was asked to teach kindergarten. A grade that most of the other teachers from the advice they were giving me HATED. I thought how bad could it be? Oh HELL!! I had no idea. On the first day of school there are runners, screamers, pukers, cries, and the one that pee's. Every year this is what I get to look forward to at the beginning.

Now I have to take this motley crew and get them to read, write a paragraph, add, subtract, create a graph, and of course sit still. Now if you were paying attention and I have not completely bored you that is just like what I did when I was teaching 1st grade. Within the last 4 years we have made kindergarten standards so high at times I think how am I going to do this? How am I going to get this child to that standard? But as frustrated as I get by the end of the year even if they are all not at grade level they have all made huge amounts of progress. I have heard all of the... why should a 5 year old have to write? Well because we live in an advanced society. Everything has to change eventually. We are not using and abacus to add and subtract anymore we use a calculator. Technology is our way of life. Playing with blocks is now a preschool activity. Playing with the pretend kitchen and eating play doh are all preschool activities. If your child does not know their alphabet by the time they start kindergarten they are already behind. This is not to say that they won't make progress but, they are already behind those that went to preschool or had parents that talked to them.

At the beginning of the year there are 2 weeks for previewing the ABC's. That's it 2 weeks! We then move on to blending letter sounds to read words and segmenting letter sounds. It all goes at an extremely fast pace. By November we are starting to write sentences and to graph. By February we are writing 4 sentence narrative and expository paragraphs. They are writing these on their own. Some are wonderful and beautiful. Some I look at and go OOOOOKKKKK. As with, I guess everything in life you have the "YEAH" and then you have the "UMMM ok". But even the "Umm Ok's" are done with a lot of hard work and are something that just 4 years ago a 1st grader would have written and now a kinder is doing it.

Even though things in kinderland are not as they used to be. I do still sneak in art because even geniuses need an outlet for creativity that does not include something written by Chaucer. Just thought I would ramble a little bit about kinderland. The ever changing land of 5 year olds.

My Laziness

I have been home for 10 days now. I go back to work tomorrow and I am sorta looking forward to it. I have nothing but praise and admiration for stay at home moms and housewives. I am HORRIBLE at it. I love that with my job I do get to have little doses of being a stay at home mom. That is all I can handle little doses. Let me explain what happens. Take this week as an example. I started out really excited and I have 900 things to do going through my head. I have stuff that I want to do at home, places I want to go, things I NEED to get done for work before I go back. Needless to say I have gotten absolutely nothing accomplished. I am not a self motivator. If you are.. rock on with your bad self. I some how missed that gene. This week went like this...

The weekend was busy with birthday parties and getting together with friends. We played we socialized it was great as always.

Then came the week...
Isaac went to work at night and basically had to work all week as normal. The kids and I stayed up late watching movies and coloring (my favorite activity). Then we slept in, had BIG breakfasts watched cartoons and played and played and played. I took a break and made snacks and dinner. This went on ALL week. I barely cleaned my house. It is still pretty much filthy. I got nothing on my TO DO list accomplished. And I will be going to work early to start on the things I was supposed to do while I was off. Because as you can see I am now off on another distraction this BLOG...YEAH ME!

So this is my question...How do housewives stay motivated and leave the bubble of their house or even clean their house, especially when kids are involved? In all honesty I know I am the LAZIEST person ever created. But, it's hard to do crappy things when it's so much more fun to play. I don't want to clean the messes I want to create them. Maybe I just need a maid. Even when Isaac was off over the weekend he played at home with the kids and I did stupid adult distractions like facebook and reading gossip magazines instead of clean or actually do one of the things I told myself at the beginning of the week I would do. Then when we did ventured out we were gone all day. So then again I have an excuse for not getting my grown up things done. UGH... I need a group or a pill that would motivate me. Then again I would need the motivation to go to the group or to take the pill. I'll get the hang of it one day...maybe :)

My Love/Hate relationship with HORROR movies

Ever since I was little I have always had a fear of scary movies. Yet I always wanted to watch them. When I was 8 I was at a slumber party and of course the thing to do there is to watch scary movies. The pick of this party was "The Exorcist". They didn't go on the weak side they went to the EXTREME. I sat there mesmerized and in awe of the whole thing. Needless to say I then went home and slept in my parents room for a week. I loved the fact that it scared me so much. I still have nightmares about that movie. From then on my parents decided I was not allowed to watch scary movies. SO they would watch them and I would sit in the hallway listening to it and asking them what was going on. I got in trouble every time I asked. I should have just sat and listened...live and learn.

Fast forward to my 20's. I would go on dates and of course watch scary movies. Just for the thrill and to grab the guys arm. :) With a similar result. I would come home and have to sleep with the TV on in my room. Then the incident happened. Isaac and I were living in an apartment that was cute and small and in the GHETTO. Isaac still worked nights and I didn't mind being home alone. I was still in school and ridiculously busy. One night that Isaac had off and we actually had 20 extra dollars we splurged and got fast food and a movie. The movie was "The Ring". Oh this movie! I have never been so freaked out by a movie. That little girl scared the crap out of me. I had seen "The Exorcist" and was not as freaked as I was about this evil little girl. As the movie ended I told Isaac we need to watch a funny movie to get those thoughts out of my head. He laughed at me for weeks. In fact he still laughs at me for being so frightened by that movie. Anyways as we were about to watch the funny movie we hear noise outside. A crazy man was jumping on his girlfriends car screaming about how much of a whore she was. It was 2 in the morning! That guy was pissed. And he added to my scaredness (is that a word?) .

The next night I tried my hardest to go to sleep. Isaac was at work and I was home ALONE. My imagination was torturing me. I did what I had to do. I did not go to my parents. I called my friend and she came to my rescue. At 10 at night she packed up and came to stay with me. I have truly the best friends EVER. I don't have a lot but the ones I have are AMAZING. She came and stayed and was the best protector ever. You would think that I would have learned my lesson. NOPE... I learned how to adjust to watching/hearing horror movies. I don't watch them because it is the images that I can't get out of my head. So I make Isaac watch them and give me a play by play. I have done this with all of the scary movies that have come out since "The Ring". All of the "Saws", "Paranormal Activity", and countless others. I still get that little scare but no images so no freaky thoughts.

This explains my Love/Hate for Horror movies. Love the scary story / Hate the visuals. :)

My new career path

After the last few weeks of work I have decided that maybe I should start looking at new careers. Between all of the hoops I have to jump through to get my class to a level that really 5 year old should not have to be at. And all of the ridiculous politics that go on in public education. I need a more exciting career path. Now after saying that here is what I have decided on...ROLLER DERBY GIRL!! I would be awesome! I have pretty much all of the requirements. They are not that pretty...check...they are better when they are thick...check...they have some serious angry management issues...check...a good amount of ADHD...check...tattoos...check. I can totally do this. The actual skating part might be a problem but, there is a bar to hold onto. So really how bad could it be? They deal with fighting off a bunch of whiners. UHH hello I teach kindergarten the land of whiners. I would be able to have pink hair! I always wanted pink hair. Another bonus is I think that Isaac would support this idea. Me in fishnets fighting other girls hubby's dream...sorry to gross you out.

A few cons would be things like I bruise very easily. This is due to the fact that I'm basically translucent. Completely beyond just pale. I've never broken a bone and I'm pretty sure it hurts when you do. I tend to laugh in tense situations so the whole mad dog serious stare down thing wouldn't work for me. Another thing is I am a mom and have that crazy momma bear instinct when I see people get hurt I tend to want to comfort them. And the nail in the coffin for me to not become a roller derby girl is that I have absolutely no competitiveness. So I will stick to teaching and see where that takes me. :)

My Jacob is 5!!

Here is my proud mommy moment. My awesome son is 5 years old today. He makes me so proud and happy. If you ever meet him you will love him. He is very social and smart. He surpasses Isaac and I and he's only 5. He is interested in planets. When asked what he would like for his birthday he said,...He's 5!!

He had a rough arrival into our little world. He was so big (and I was very FAT) he could not fit. I pushed and pushed for two flipping hours and got nothing. So they hacked him out. Not only did they hack him out...the epidural they gave me failed and Jacob went into distress. I was put under and they sliced me open. I hate that memory. I want to see him take his first breath more then anything. I woke up in the recovery area in excruciating pain. I wasn't able to see him until the next day. I hate that memory too. He was in the NICU for 4 days. They told me at one point that I would probably leave without him. I flipped out yelled and had a complete meltdown. They could not have been surprised by that reaction. I was NOT going to leave without him. And I didn't.

Now 5 years later I have the smartest little man. He is just the best son. He is loving and funny. Oh he has his moments of "JACOB WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!!!" But for 95% of the time he is wonderful.

Happy 5th Birthday Jacob!!

Fighting my self proclaimed OCD

I have always been what I thought was a ritualistic person but I think it has turned into an obsessive compulsive need for control.I have a ritual for everything I do from showering, to putting on make up, to sadly the way I get my kids ready in the morning and ready for bed. I never realized this until Isaac and I had been living together for about 1 year and he asks me if I know how OCD I am. He then proceeds to tell me in frighteningly perfect detail the way I get ready for work. My methodology of choosing clothes. Up until this point of my life I thought that I made random choices but apparently I was mistaken.

A few years ago I started to notice that my life during the week is very different from my life on the weekends. I know that this does not seem like it would be a great revelation but somethings about it kind of creeped me out. Isaac works nights so 4 nights out of the week I am a single mom. As soon as Isaac walks out the door the ritual begins. I start with cleaning the kitchen and getting stuff I need for work in the morning ready...coffee, lunch, etc. While I am doing this my little loves are playing/tormenting each other usually in their rooms or our loft. After this I give Jacob and Mia their baths. They are so used to my routine they know when I am going to wash what body part. I get them ready for bed we do our nightly routine of stories hugs and kisses and then they are in bed. At 9:00 ever night Isaac calls me to say good night. He has done this since we dated.

Now all of this seems basic I suppose. However it all drastically changes on the weekend when Isaac is home. The kids that used to play with each other are all over Isaac like white on rice every chance they get. Isaac takes over the nightly routine and the baths and kisses and hugs and stories are all out of order. The Routine I have created during the week is GONE. No bed time no order. OK so I have just come to a realization after reading some of this. I feel as though maybe I am right. Maybe I'm not too OCD but just a creature of severe habit. A sad side note is that my class is run on a military routine. They know when to jump and how high. Whether they choose to do it is the mind game I get to play with them.

Anyways...another musing from yours truly :)

My stand off with a kindergartener!

This week with my class has sucked. We had Monday off so you would think since it was a short week that it would go by fast...WRONG. All week long I have had ridiculous behavior issues. I don't really mind little things and try very hard to be some what lenient and patient. However, I am also a stubborn person and I get frustrated when I ask someone to do a simple task and get hit with attitude and a flat out NO. This pushes my buttons even more when it is done by a 5 year old. Here is the situation I had to deal with this week.

While passing out math worksheets I notice that little C has trash all around his desk from an earlier activity that he has not cleaned up. I tell him "little C you need to pick up your trash please." His answer "NO it's not mine!" I look at the papers and his name is on them. I tell him "Excuse me but your name is on them, they are yours. You have 5 seconds to pick them up so that we can get started on our math." He crosses his arms stares at me and does NOTHING. So in response with my own childish and stubborn behavior. I pull up a chair and explain to him that in this class we all clean up our own messes it is our responsibility. He stares at me and does nothing. The rest of my class has been sitting so quietly and in shock of little C's defiant behavior. So I tell them they can go lay on the carpet and read a book. They are very excited about this because they rarely get to do it. So there is the rest of my class laughing, showing each other the books they are reading and generally having a good time. Little C is still sitting in his chair scowling at me. So being the mature teacher I am (insert sarcasm here) I sit in a chair across from him and stare at him. This last for 15 MINUTES!! Then he tells me, "I will clean up my mess when they sit down quietly." Really you little stinker you think you can call the shots here. I look at the rest of my class having a great time and tell him, "They are going to play until you clean up your mess. This is my class these are my rules. You will not disrespect me or my class with your attitude." He then looks at me and says "I'll clean up my mess now." This little boy just wasted 20 minutes of my class time and my life with his attitude and he's only 5. Can't wait to see him as a teenager. At the end of the day I explain to his babysitter about our little stand off and how he refused to do anything. She says that he is like that all the time with her and with his parents. I don't know if I should feel happy about the fact that this behavior is not just for me or sad about the fact that he feels the need to shut down over everything.

Next week will be better...I hope.