Fighting my self proclaimed OCD

I have always been what I thought was a ritualistic person but I think it has turned into an obsessive compulsive need for control.I have a ritual for everything I do from showering, to putting on make up, to sadly the way I get my kids ready in the morning and ready for bed. I never realized this until Isaac and I had been living together for about 1 year and he asks me if I know how OCD I am. He then proceeds to tell me in frighteningly perfect detail the way I get ready for work. My methodology of choosing clothes. Up until this point of my life I thought that I made random choices but apparently I was mistaken.

A few years ago I started to notice that my life during the week is very different from my life on the weekends. I know that this does not seem like it would be a great revelation but somethings about it kind of creeped me out. Isaac works nights so 4 nights out of the week I am a single mom. As soon as Isaac walks out the door the ritual begins. I start with cleaning the kitchen and getting stuff I need for work in the morning ready...coffee, lunch, etc. While I am doing this my little loves are playing/tormenting each other usually in their rooms or our loft. After this I give Jacob and Mia their baths. They are so used to my routine they know when I am going to wash what body part. I get them ready for bed we do our nightly routine of stories hugs and kisses and then they are in bed. At 9:00 ever night Isaac calls me to say good night. He has done this since we dated.

Now all of this seems basic I suppose. However it all drastically changes on the weekend when Isaac is home. The kids that used to play with each other are all over Isaac like white on rice every chance they get. Isaac takes over the nightly routine and the baths and kisses and hugs and stories are all out of order. The Routine I have created during the week is GONE. No bed time no order. OK so I have just come to a realization after reading some of this. I feel as though maybe I am right. Maybe I'm not too OCD but just a creature of severe habit. A sad side note is that my class is run on a military routine. They know when to jump and how high. Whether they choose to do it is the mind game I get to play with them.

Anyways...another musing from yours truly :)

My stand off with a kindergartener!

This week with my class has sucked. We had Monday off so you would think since it was a short week that it would go by fast...WRONG. All week long I have had ridiculous behavior issues. I don't really mind little things and try very hard to be some what lenient and patient. However, I am also a stubborn person and I get frustrated when I ask someone to do a simple task and get hit with attitude and a flat out NO. This pushes my buttons even more when it is done by a 5 year old. Here is the situation I had to deal with this week.

While passing out math worksheets I notice that little C has trash all around his desk from an earlier activity that he has not cleaned up. I tell him "little C you need to pick up your trash please." His answer "NO it's not mine!" I look at the papers and his name is on them. I tell him "Excuse me but your name is on them, they are yours. You have 5 seconds to pick them up so that we can get started on our math." He crosses his arms stares at me and does NOTHING. So in response with my own childish and stubborn behavior. I pull up a chair and explain to him that in this class we all clean up our own messes it is our responsibility. He stares at me and does nothing. The rest of my class has been sitting so quietly and in shock of little C's defiant behavior. So I tell them they can go lay on the carpet and read a book. They are very excited about this because they rarely get to do it. So there is the rest of my class laughing, showing each other the books they are reading and generally having a good time. Little C is still sitting in his chair scowling at me. So being the mature teacher I am (insert sarcasm here) I sit in a chair across from him and stare at him. This last for 15 MINUTES!! Then he tells me, "I will clean up my mess when they sit down quietly." Really you little stinker you think you can call the shots here. I look at the rest of my class having a great time and tell him, "They are going to play until you clean up your mess. This is my class these are my rules. You will not disrespect me or my class with your attitude." He then looks at me and says "I'll clean up my mess now." This little boy just wasted 20 minutes of my class time and my life with his attitude and he's only 5. Can't wait to see him as a teenager. At the end of the day I explain to his babysitter about our little stand off and how he refused to do anything. She says that he is like that all the time with her and with his parents. I don't know if I should feel happy about the fact that this behavior is not just for me or sad about the fact that he feels the need to shut down over everything.

Next week will be better...I hope.

The Trouble with Alcohol

I am not a good drunk never have been and after Saturday night I'm still not a good drunk. I am that girl that wants to be every bodies friend and wants to get others together. I am extremely annoying. I have no filter on my mouth and say the dumbest things that I know I don't really believe but at that moment of my drunken stupor I feel they are funny. So, knowing that I am this stupid when I drink why do I continue to hmmm... I don't know. I always think when I start on these expeditions that after 2 I'll stop calling the waitress over. That has yet to happen. To clarify I am not drinking every weekend in fact this last Saturday was the first time in about 2 years that I went to a bar with friends and got hammered. My conscience always eats me up afterwards because I start thinking, "What did I say? What did I do? Did I toss my cookies? How pissed is my patient husband with me?" I will beat myself up for about a week over this. I am very lucky because I do have the most amazing husband that takes very good care of me and is never mad at me. When sometimes he probably should be for some of my antics. But, he is wonderful and loves me and talks me off the ledge.

OK my confession/purging session is over.

Mia and a glimpse of her creative style. It's either this or butt naked for her.

Jacob is not a smiler. My brother says Jacob is in the witness protection program because of his aversion to pictures.


Sibling LOVE <3

So this past week I went to my nephews 3rd birthday party. It was what a kids party should be. Lots of finger foods, a pinata, and of course a jumper. My kids love the jumpers. They would move in if they could, especially my daughter. She is 2 going on 22. And as with kid gatherings there is enevitably a bully that makes all of the other kids look like angels. This particular bully was a 2 year old little boy that had the energy and anger of a teenager. He beat the crap out of the bigger kids that were so affraid of him and the punishment they would get from their own parents that they just ran instead of fight back. This little terror would try to stomp on kids heads and kid them when they are down. He threw toys into the pool and caused some serious havoc. Where was mom??? Mom figures that the kids should hit her son back. I don't know if she understands that most parents tell their kids NOT to hit. She is still learning and in her quest to make her son tuff she is turning him into a horrible bully.


Now my kids surprise me all the time when we go to parties or family gatherings. They both avoided the bully and in all honesty where wonderful. Jacob was polite (even if he turned Gestapo on a kid for taking a toy he wanted) Mia hugged and smiled and played with everyone whether they wanted to play with her or not. It was a nice change for me to see my kids as the loving amazing characters they are. I have to say that at home I am sometimes extremely short on understanding. That is my fault :( I teach all day and put all of my energy into my 28 kindergarteners and by the time I get home I forget that mine are only 2 and 4. I am sorry for that behavior. I know they are good kids I think that my expectations are too high. They should be loud and happy and hyper...they're little kids. So when we are at a gathering and I hear "Your son is so polite." I smile nicely and say thank you but inside I am doing somersaults and screaming "YES maybe I did something right!"

Anyways these are my musings :)

SO here it is a new year 2011. However in my class it is the middle of the kindergarten year. We have been in school for 87 days and behaviors started out shaky calmed down and are now erupting into little messes I have to calm...again. I have been teaching for a while and I know that this pain in the ass behavior is not new, they're five what can I expect. However this year I have the "it's not my kid it's someone elses kids fault" parents. Now I know that little Jane and Johnny are perfect angels when they are at home...but it's another story when they are in class with 28 of their buddies. They are picking their noses, picking their old scabs, hell they are picking their shoes. They are pushing the limits of sanitation and their teachers gag reflex. All of these gross and annoying things are abso-freaking-lutely normal. As a teacher all I ask is that when I talk to you about these habits of grossology you talk to Jane and Johnny about not doing it in class. It is pointless to say that it is another students fault when it is your kids finger up his nose. You look foolish! That was the only nice word I could describe those parents as.

I know that sounded perhaps harsh. I'm a mom I have kids that are just that normal loud WILD kids. However I except responsibility for my little booger pickers actions. This is the first week back after Christmas break and I am already worn out from not my students but from their parents.

On another note when I asked my class what their favorite thing they did over Christmas break was most told me about presents or parties. Then there was little M, he said that his favorite thing about Christmas break was that his mom and dad went to the movies. I said "Did you go with them?" he said, "Nope they went by themselves." He was so happy that they had a good time even if it was without him. Sometimes I hear things that make me smile. :) I prefer those days.

Thanks for letting me vent :)