Random Facts About Yours Truely

I thought I would compile a list of random facts about myself to either bore you or creep you out about me. Here it goes...

1. I was born in Fort Wayne, Indiana.
2. I LOVE donuts and peanut butter.
3. Daisies are my favorite flower.
4. Yellow is my favorite color.
5. I'm a horrible person to shop for because I never really want anything.
6. I sleep with a blanket that I have had since I was little.
7. I had 2 surgeries before I was 6. 1)appendix 2)eyes, I had a lazy eye.
8. I can name pretty much any actor in a movie. A crazy talent that freaks out most.
9. I love impressionist, especially Van Gogh and Monet.
10. I always sleep in socks because I hate having cold feet.
11. I never leave the house without mascara on.
12. I rarely ever cry. I hate doing it.
13. I don't like to shop for clothes.
14. I'm scared to DEATH of the dentist.
15. I love Las Vegas!
16. I don't like doing yard work.
17. I can't sing.
18. I love to dance and I am not shy about doing it.
19. I hate it when Isaac has a scruffy face because it hurts to kiss him.
20. I'm not a natural blond...surprise surprise
21. I like looking at pictures but hate taking them.
22. I want to go to Ireland.
23. I'm proud of my husband.
24. I have great intentions but a horrible follow through.
25. I love my kids more then anything in the world and would give up of everything for them.

SO this is me <3

Riding the Bus with Kinders

On Friday I took my kindergartners on a field trip to see a barn exhibit. Now before I begin I think that you should think about when you are going on a trip with your children. You're riding in the car. You walk them around where ever it is you are going. Now think about every little inconvenience and uncomfortable situation and multiply it by 200 and you will get a typical kindergarten field trip.

Now lets begin our trip. It was supposed to rain on Friday and parents were panicking about their children melting. I fielded phone calls all week reassuring parents that from what the place had told me we would be in an enclosed place. I thought if this is all that I have to handle this wont be that bad...Why am I ALWAYS wrong in these situations??

Friday arrives and the kids are excited, the parent chaperons are excited, hell I'm even excited. I get my kids in my classroom and get all of our little things taken care of, attendance, name tags, lunches, all of the little things. As I am giving the parents their information I also tell the kids to go to the bathroom. I let one table go at a time. I get to the last table and one little girl says that she doesn't have to go. I tell her that's alright just try. She flat out refuses. I'm not her mom I'm not going to push the issue. We finish up parents have their groups I have mine and we walk out to meet the buses at the scheduled time. And there are no buses. I figure they are running a little late. Try 30 minutes late!At least they showed up. We all get on the buses and just before we take off on our hour long drive it happens. The little girl that didn't have to go potty NOW has to go potty and is dancing. Her peepee dance is contagious and 7 others now have to go as well. I tell the bus driver and run them to the potty. FINALLY we are on our way. About 15 minutes in the "Are we there yets?" begin. Then the "I wanna go home" starts. Thankfully I did not hear "I don't feel good!"

We arrive at the Barn in one piece and with NO accidents. I check us in and tell parents times to meet up for lunch and our departure time and send them on their way with their group. I grab my group and head out. As I'm walking around looking at the cows and chickens and other farm animals I notice that crazy lady that I talked to on the phone is a big liar. There were no coverings and dirt on the floor! If it had rained I would have been SCREWED!!! The kids would of melted. But it wasn't raining at that moment. I was so happy. I took my group around the exhibit and had a good time exploring. It was about lunch time and it starts to rain. Not just rain POUR. I get my group to a covered area and go to talk to the bus driver about us eating on the bus to avoid getting wet. That would of been a good idea if our bus driver didn't go joy riding with another bus driver friend and leave our bus LOCKED with the lunches inside! I was PISSED! Luckily I met the nicest guy. He is probably a bank robber but really nice. He got the bus compartment open that had our lunches in it. Don't ask how. So now I have the lunches and a bunch of hungry kinders in the pouring rain with pretty much no covering. One of my wonderful parents found a covered area while I was commandeering our lunches. AHHH a chance to sit and eat...nope. They all had to go potty. I had one dad go with me and sent all of my boys with him to the bathroom. When he came back he suggested that the next field trip I get more dad's to come. Apparently boys don't just go potty it's social time at the urinal.

While we were eating the rain stopped and we continued with our exploring. Now came the "Can I have that?" "I want that!!" and my favorite "MY mom said I could have it." really when did that happen. UGH!!! Finally it was time to leave. My class is all on the bus counted seated and about to pass out. The class that was with mine lost a group. SO we had to send out a search party and wait 30 minutes for the group to come back. We are NOW on our way...all of us. And we are in traffic and I'm sitting next to a parent that talks more then I want them to at this moment. But we made it back alive, exhausted, hungry, and again all having to go potty. And we were late so we came back to not happy parents but angry ready to beat me to a pulp parents. I was greeted with "Why were you late?" "Do you know I had plans?" "What were you thinking keeping my child this long?" Seriously parents I had no control over the traffic or the wayward group. So the happy parents that waved goodbye in the morning and blew kisses to the bus are going to hang the teacher for making the bus late. Because she wants to keep 28 kindergartners to herself. Oh the joys of my job. In the end this is just a typical aspect of my job. And just for the record I had fun on the field trip...minus the 20 trips to the bathroom.

Movie star LOVES

I have a confession to make regarding secret love affairs I would have if I could. There is an episode of "Friends" where they make a list of famous people they would sleep with if they could. Isaac and I have always joked about our lists. Although mine has changed a few times his is pretty much the same. He would sleep with Mariah Carey (even fat and pregnant with twins) in a heart beat and Rebecca Roman (I spelled that wrong). His taste is simple. My list has evolved over the years. My teen years I was obsessed with Dylan Mckay and sadly Jay Leno. Two extreme polar opposites. My love of Mr. Mckay went away once I hit college but the Leno love stayed. He made me laugh and really that's a big one for me. I once went with my now sister in law Shalyn to see Jay Leno's show taped. His guest were N'sync and Sally Field. Everyone was screaming for the boy band and batting their eye's at them. I was trying to get Jay Leno's attention. As time went on Leno started to aggravate me, especially with the whole Conan battle. I wish he had dealt with it better. Anyways my love faded for him. From then on I had crushes on a number of famous people. Here are some...

1. Chris O'Donnell (HELLO Irish boy would fit in with the family)
2. Jake Ryan (from 16 candles)
3. Jimmy Fallon
4. David Duchovny
5. Emile Hirsh
6. Shia LeBouf
7. Jason Taylor
8. Phillip Rivers
9. Johnny Depp

I know it's a very Wonder bread list I am having memory issues. But it also brings me to my present crush...Vince Vaughn. I know he is juvenile but he cracks me up. He delivers his lines with that dead pan mono tone that brings a smile to my face. I love watching him in interviews. One of my favorite scenes in a movie is in a stupid movie called "Couples Retreat". The movie is OK but there is one scene where Vince Vaughn's character is talking to Jon Favreau's character. He is telling him about being married and the simple line "Who ya gonna go to Applebees with?" makes me laugh and want Vince Vaughn. I think he's funny and that's all that matters...right? However much I LOVE my hubby if I had a shot at Vince Vaughns boxers I'd take it. Then I would come right back to Isaac because he's who I'd want to go to Applebees with. :)

The Story of Wednesday (the dog)

I have a semi love/hate relationship with our four legged so called protector. I feel bad about the way I am always eager to ship her to another house. I feel that I should explain our relationship to you. Here it goes, first some background on me and dogs...

When Isaac and I first moved into our tiny apartment I bought our first family member. He was a pompoo and weighed a whopping 4 pounds. We named him Rosco Picotrain. He needed a big name to compensate for his size. Rosco was my buddy. He slept in bed with me when Isaac was at work. We took him on our vacations. He was our child until Jacob arrived. When we moved into the crackerjack box house we put in a dog door for him. He was a wee bit spoiled. Then in April of 2007 Rosco got hit by a car and it broke my heart. I lost my little buddy.

Time went on and we added Mia to our family and another person to take up space in the crackerjack box. Now Isaac had always talked about wanting a boxer. I just kind of shined him on going "sure honey as soon as we get the money". He would talk to my dad constantly about my dads boxer that he had when he was growing up. My dad did not help my anti big boxer cause. In actuality he added to Isaac wanting one. On the Wednesday before Halloween in 2008 Isaac almost lost his marriage. I came home from work and there she was...our 8 week old boxer. Isaac had a friend that bred his and gave Isaac a pup. That guy was not my friend. Isaac was excited, Jacob was excited, even Mia at 3 months was excited. I was not. We named her Wednesday Addams. Isaac went to work that night and now the fun began. I now had to get up to not only feed a 3 month old baby but, I had to now take Wednesday out to go potty...in the dark. She did not win points with me. Because, in what would become true Wednesday behavior she is afraid of the dark. The next few months we long and hard and consisted of NO sleep for me. Wednesday also discovered more things to be afraid of. Here is a list of some...

1. the dark
2. boxes
3. shadows
4. candles
5. being alone
6. rain
7. heat
8. bees/wasps/flies

Here are things she is not afraid of and should be protecting us from...

1. strangers
2. scorpions
3. mice
4. the mail lady

When people come to our house she gets so excited and wants them to love her. She ends up licking them and jumping all over. So she goes outside. The only time she barks is when she is alone or when there is a box in front of her. She doesn't bark or growl at strangers but OH heaven forbid there is a box on the floor she goes into fight mode. We are protected from boxes but a robber is welcome.

Now that I have complained about what she does that annoys me I should go over her good qualities. She is a great dog for children. My little gymnasts have climbed all over Wednesday. Mia has put her hand in Wednesdays mouth and poked at her teeth. Wednesday's ears have been pulled, she has had barbies ride her, and been turned into a ghost under a blanket. Through all of these torturous activities she has NEVER growled, barked, sniped, or especially bit anyone. She loves the kids and really loves playing with them. Even though she is a third child and requires as much attention (if not more at times) as my human children I do sorta, kinda, maybe in a round about way love her. She is our Wednesday and our family would be missing a piece if we didn't have her. Even if at times I would like to off load her to a farm. :)

This week in kinderland

Every Monday I start off my morning with my class by asking them about their weekend. I am trying to get them to answer in complete sentences. You know utilize those teachable moments...anyways. On a normal day I get pretty much the same type of weekend stories. "I went to the park this weekend." "This weekend I played with my toys." (see the complete sentences) Every so often I get the random story about a cop visit to the house or a relative that has to go to "work" for 6 to 12 months. This week I had two superstars with stories that I went "HUH" at the end.

The first story came from little "X". He has an interesting family life. He supplies me with some very interesting stories. I think at times his house must be like a three ring circus minus the dancing bears and elephants. Although I could be wrong. They could be there and I just didn't listen to that part of his story. So this week he came in to class in a serious mood. I asked if he was OK and he gave me a nod. I figured he was exhausted from a long weekend and having to get up early for school. I began my routine and the second I said "Who Would like to tell the class about their weekend?" Up went little "X" hand. I looked at him and said OK please share. This is his story...

"This weekend I didn't get any sleep. My mom and my "Tia" (aunt) were mad and yelling." At this point I interrupted and thought he was done. Nope there was more.
"My Tia's boobies got bigger and my mom was mad cause she wants hers bigger too. And she got mad at daddy because he likes Tia's bigger boobies. Then daddy had to sleep at grandpas house and then he came home mad. They yelled a lot about Tia's boobies." I then had to stop him because now my whole class is going "boobies boobies". All day long that is all they laughed about was that one word.

After little "X" shared his story I thought wow that is my story of the day. Then little "Z" wanted to talk about his weekend. His weekends are usually calm. He goes to the store with his dad or plays army men. Typical weekend stuff. I wasn't worried especially because I was still in a fog over boobies. So little "Z" began his weekend tale. "This weekend I went to the car store with my dad. He saw lady there and she went to my house. I played outside. Then we took her back to the store. Then dad played army guys with me until mom came home." My response "UUUMMMM OK....let's begin our story. We will share more stories tomorrow." I didn't want to know who the lady was. Where she and his dad were I just wanted the sharing to stop.

I think that at times parents forget that 5 year olds tell all of their secrets. So watch what you say. You child's teacher probably knows more about your personal life then you would like. :)

A SMALL coffee obsession

I have a few food obsessions but coffee is the front runner. I love it! If it were possible I would marry it. Coffee is my feel good drug. It makes me happy and warm and brings back memories of my dad. I think that in the coffee world I am kind of a late bloomer. I didn't really start drinking coffee until I had Mia. She was my anti sleep baby. Really she still is. After I had her just to function I started to drink coffee and now I'm hooked. The night that Mia first slept through the night from 7 to 5. I got up and thought I don't need coffee today I got straight sleep. Oh I was sorely mistaken. I had a headache all day and I'm not kidding I think I had withdrawals. So since then I figure why give it up. It's a lovely habit to have. The smell is intoxicating and when you get that first drink in the morning it makes the fact that I have to go fight two monsters and get them dressed seem like a simple task. Like I said I love coffee. Now my love of coffee does not go to Starbucks. Don't get me wrong I like going there. It's just more enjoyable to have MY coffee. I want my house to smell of coffee.

This weekend I have a dilemma with my coffee. I am going to the mountains and have genuine concern. My concern is not that I'm probably going to be sleeping on a couch. I'm not concerned that my monsters are going to drive everyone bonkers (really they will). I am concerned about my coffee intake. How am I going to get my fix? AM I going to have to get in the car and drive to Starbucks at 6am in my PJ's with my two monsters? That will suck! I always make fun of people that go to the store or pick up their kids in their PJ's. I figure how can you not get dressed? Put on a bra!! Now I'm going to eat my words because that will be me at the Starbucks drive through in my PJ's with my 2 monsters in theirs. Oh the irony. I have to get my coffee fix. The carnage that would be left behind if I don't get it will be colossal...that might be a small exaggeration. Now to go and get my 3rd cup of the morning. :)

Road Rage and the Morning Commute

I drive 30 miles to and from work everyday in traffic. I did this by choice because I didn't want to live in a cracker jack box anymore. My sacrifice for a bigger house was a crappy commute. When I first started this commute I had a little car and only one little person was riding with me. I upgraded the car because I now have two little people riding with me. In the beginning the ride was fine, talking and occasional crankiness from the two small ones. When we upgraded to the bigger better car I had no idea what a blessing it would be. The new car has two DVD players that play separate DVDs and if they want to watch the same DVD there is a button that plays it on both. I love these DVD players! They put a stop to the morning crankiness. Another added bonus of these two magical DVD players is that they are ear muffs to my small ones for my road rage. I have discovered that I am a horrible driver. This can be blamed on a number of things all of which I will yell at you about. I'm blind, I'm blond, I'm a woman, and quite frankly I'm really not a nice driver.

This is what aggravates me when I drive:

1. Don't cut me off without a blinker.
2. Don't ride my ass I will go 30mph slower.
3. Don't swerve in and out of lanes thinking you will get there faster. Half a car length is really not that much of an advantage.
4. Don't drive 50mph in the fast lane on a flowing freeway. This is Cali you will get run over.
5. When in bumper to bumper traffic don't try to be slick and drive past people on the shoulder. I will block you!

That last one is a HUGE pet peeve of mine. I have blocked people and had them yell at me thinking I'm going to ignore them. They are wrong! I am not a fan of confrontation but when protected by a bubble of metal I will confront you. In fact I will roll down my window and scream horrible obscenities at you. Because really what are you going to do to me at that moment. You are obviously in a hurry to get somewhere so you are not going to take time to pull over and have it out with me. Although I drive in California the land of the drive by shootings I doubt the mom in the mini van is packing some heat. The cholo in the low rider maybe. Then again they are just cruising so they are not in a mad dash to get to yoga or Pilate's. So they are behind me not trying to cut me off. I think I've mentioned before that I have anger management issues. This is yet another example of that problem.

I know that maybe you are thinking what the HELL is wrong with me. I have small ones in my car. Trust me they are protected by the all mighty digital ear muffs. They are so preoccupied they have no clue what their crazy mom is doing while driving on the 15 freeway. The gift of technology, it protects against hearing moms road rage.